One Day More
by Kinishinaii
Summary: Kise Ryota has always been alone and isolated because of his disease, while Aomine Daiki lives a life of no rules or boundaries. When the two meet, will the paths they choose together become love at second sight, or ultimately lead to each other's own destruction? [aokise, sort of au, first ongoing project! woo]
1. Unreliable

In this world there are only two things: constants and unreliables.

I'd grown up in a world of constants; the same doctors and nurses, same hospital, same appointments, same words said over and over again, the same feeling in the pit of my stomach that had become so normal I can't remember a time it wasn't there.

There had only ever been one unreliable thing: _me_.

I think I knew first time I happened to glance him from outside the smudged glass of my window. I knew that things would end up this way. How could they not? There was no other alternative ending, no parallel universe where this situation would have ended how everyone wanted it to. There was never any possibility, and yet I knew.

_I'm going to play basketball with him_.

Of course if I had known then what I know now, maybe I would have reversed everything, changed my mind and closed my eyes again so I couldn't see his face from behind the fingerprinted screen between myself and the sky.

Maybe things would be different, but then again maybe not.

That's the thing about fate, it is _never_ a constant.

The sky had turned an unnaturally dark color that day, but the clouds never appeared anywhere. It was simply like the blue had gotten deeper, more tempered than it's normal cheery color. He glanced around at the empty court, the grip of the basketball fresh in his hands. Hoisting himself up from the cracked pavement he let the ball drop and watched it bounce down the court and away from him, it's height slowly decreasing as it rolled farther towards the fence on the other side.

\

This basketball court had long since been abandoned by the neighborhood locals, and inspecting the ground, he could see why. The yellow and white lines had long since faded into almost nonexistence, the ground jutted unexpectedly through the cement, and the hoops on either side barely clung to the shreds of a net left behind from the weather and time.

But it was perfect.

This was what he needed, not some squeaking and shiny gym where the noises were screech of basketball shoes drowned at all sound and the annoying voices of ignorant players echoed off the walls in their attempt to be heard.

He walked the few feet to pick up the ball, testing it's weight in his hands before lining up and shooting, watching the ball more clatter than swish into the far hoop.

Yes, this was the perfect place. The perfect place to escape.

He jogged the few feet and snatched up the ball, feeling the familiar energy seep into his bones and felt the need to move, to run, to dodge, to shoot, to just _play_.

So he gave in. He closed his eyes and gave in, feeling the invisible enemy move around him and he attacked, hearing the crunch of the loose gravel under his feet and the air between his fingers as he took shot after shot, with the hoops that went clank instead of hiss.

The sun was beating down now, but the sky remained dark. He could feel the sweat beginning to collect on the back of his neck, under his arms, even feeling the heat through the thin white tee shirt he had changed into after school.

"Hey! Hey!"

He jumped and almost completely dropped the ball at the voice. Widening his eyes he looked around the court but saw nothing, not a single person.

"Hello? Are you blind over there?"

"Hey!" He yelled back, anger ticking in his head.

The voice was louder this time, and _so annoying. _

"I'm right here you know?"

That voice was even more loud and turning around, he found himself face to face with its owner.

He was dressed all in black, jeans and a sweatshirt to match, all in dark contrast to his ghostly white skin only revealed on his neck and face.

"Took you long enough, I thought you'd never find me!" The stranger said, giggling a little and stuffing his hands in the long pockets of his jeans. His voice suddenly turned serious and his eyebrows shot up in alarm "Wait you aren't really blind are you?"

He found himself replying before even thinking as his eyes flicked up to meet the others,

"Of course I'm not!"

He suddenly felt a lump grow up in his throat as he finally found the eyes of this odd intruder.

The sun, that was all that came to mind, golden hair lazily tossed to the side, and amber eyes with something like a strange light he had never seen before anywhere else, something expected to be found in the most unlikeliest of places.

It would be weird to call another guy beautiful, but that's what he was. He was almost enchanting to look at if it weren't for-

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!"

_That voice. _

"I have a name you know," he replied, ignoring the other boy's question.

"But I already know your name!"

"Huh? What?! How do you-"

"You're Aomine Daiki, that much is obvious, right?"

And for the first time, Aomine found himself unable to say a word.

_Even the way he phrases questions is weird, what's with this guy?_

"Anyway, before you interrupted me, I was asking if you played basketball?" As he spoke his face began to light up. The image of the sun began to creep to the edge of Aomine's mind again.

"Uh...yeah…" he replied slowly, hoisting up the basketball and cocking his eyebrow.

"I play for the team at school but I uh like to do extra," he paused before adding "Alone."

"Ah I see, the lone wolf."

"No it's not like that I-"

"Kidding, kidding, geez someone's a little touchy."

_Who was this guy anyway thinking he could disturb my perfect peace, what's his problem?_

Aomine knew he kept asking himself the question, but couldn't string together the words to actually come out of his mouth. He just stared back at this no name, his grip on the ball growing firmer. Then the realization hit him, "Wait, what was _your_ name anyway?"

"Who, me?"

"There's no one else here do you think I'm talking to myself?"

"Kise,"

"What?"

"Kise Ryota." he repeated, turning on his heels a little as if to move away.

"Nice name," Aomine replied, attempting to sound sarcastic.

"Thanks!" Kise said, grinning and laughing almost to himself.

He took a few steps away but swiveled his head, blonde hair catching in the sunlight.

_He really does look like a sun_. _No wait there's a better word for this._

"You better be back tomorrow so I can play with you,"

_Warmth. He looks like warmth, like a gentle fire._

"_Daiki_."

"Hey don't call me that!"

Kise just smiled again and walked faster, past the fence, around the corner and out of sight.

"Warmth, pff" Aomine muttered to himself, "What a stupid thing to think."

He spun the ball on his finger for a moment, feeling the grooves and bumps as it moved.

"What the hell was with that guy?" he whispered, still talking to himself subconsciously.

_More like what the hell is with you_, he thought silently.


	2. Forgotten

The building had gone totally silent.

_Everyone must be out for tests right now,_

He glanced down at the plastic watch he had strapped to his wrist. It would make sense, everyone usually went after dinner at 5:30.

Moving as quietly as he could he twisted the doorknob and shut the door as he slid through, taking care not to let his sneakers squeak on the linoleum floors.

The only noise was the typical whir and hum of the air conditioner working overtime and the occasional blip of a heart monitor in a far off hallway.

Checking around to make sure the coast was clear, he slid around the corner and checked the nurses station.

Empty, good. Everything had gone according to plan so far, there was just that one unreliable factor left, as long as he could avoid that he would be home free. Feeling more than a little smug he began to stroll across the hallway, still making sure his steps stayed quiet, just in case.

"Kise."

He froze mid step and knew he was done for. _Of course_ whether he made any noise or not didn't matter to the unreliable. He could hear the tell tale creaks behind him but still didn't move, and glancing down finally saw him.

"Riko is going to throttle you." he said in the usual monotone, his face the same expressionless mask.

"You better not tell, Tetsu."

"I won't. That doesn't mean she doesn't already know."

Kise finally moved his foot down and shifted his weight, staring down at the small boy sitting in his typical, old wheelchair. They had offered him a new one but he had turned them down saying,

"_This wheelchair saw me lose my legs, but I'll make sure it sees me get them back too."_

Thinking about it now, Kise realized that had been two years ago.

He lifted his hand and ruffled Tetsu's pale hair, remembering how different things had been.

"Stop that."

"Well if you don't tell then I shouldn't have anything to worry about right?"

"Not necessarily. I make no promises about Kagami. You're very bad at sneaking around Kise."

He shut his eyes for a moment and sighed.

He was already tired just from the small excursion not even 500 feet from the back door, this was really getting to be a pain. It's not possible things are actually getting worse, right?

"Are you alright?"

"Mm. Just tired."

They sat in silence for a little while, Kise gathering his strength back up and Tetsu waiting for when he did.

It had always been that way between them, one waiting up on the other. Even though Tetsu didn't come to the ward until way after Kise's first arrival, they had shared an unspoken understanding about the situation they were in

.

"How was the Dragon today?" Kise finally said opening his eyes and finding that Tetsu hadn't moved a single inch yet.

"Fine. Especially sentimental today."

They could hear the faint voices of nurses beginning to echo across the walls at the far end of Ward 4, and Kise knew he should probably be getting back to his room before they found him standing in street clothes like this.

"Let's go. They'll see you." Tetsu said almost mimicking his thoughts and grasped the wheels of his chair and with a heave rolled down the hallway.

"I can push you?"

It was something he always suggested and yet he always received the same answer:

"No, I'm alright."

"You sure?" he always replied.

"Yes."

He could never be sure whether it was because Tetsu didn't _want_ his help, or whether he actually wanted him to but felt bad asking for it.

They turned left towards their small wing on the 4th floor, Kise measuring his exact amount of steps between the reflections of the lights on the waxed floors.

He had always been able to take four steps between each shiny reflection, that was something that never changed, another of the constants in this plastic and sterilized world.

But today he could almost do five.

_Maybe I really am getting worse._

As they reached the end of the small hallway, Tetsu veered right and reached over, pushing the heavy wooden door open with his palm. He could hear the flick of the light switch as the room lit up, illuminating their two beds separated by a gauzy curtain. It was only ever closed it at night, and even then they would occasionally forget. Sometimes it was just nice to know that not everything in the room was as cold and dark as one another felt.

"Swing me." Tetsu said, parking his wheelchair and locking the brakes next to his bed as Kise shut the door. He grabbed the loop hanging from the ceiling and yanked it down so Tetsu could reach it, "Thank you."

This had been their routine for the past two years, before Kise had the room all to himself.

Kise lazily kicked off his sneakers into the corner closet and unbuttoned his jeans. He could hear Tetsu flop down on his bed and sigh in the other end of the room. Slipping out of his pants, Kise slid back into the pair of gray sweatpants he had been wearing before, and swapped out his black sweatshirt for a white one.

"You have an appointment at 7."

"Yeah I know don't remind me."

"Better hope Kagami didn't say anything."

"My life's counting on it."

Leaving his socks on Kise turned and fell facedown into his bed, burying himself in the scent of harsh detergent and chemicals.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you do today?"

Kise clenched his fist around the sheets and few times, watching the fabric crinkle and soften again and again. He was trying not to think about it, trying not to remember Aomine Daiki's confused face in that moment when he realized he didn't remember who he was.

_It hasn't been that long has it?_ _Am I just an idiot to think he'd remember me at all?_

"Why are you so interested?" Kise replied, feeling like teasing a little bit.

"I'm just being polite."

Tetsu sure knows how to shoot you down, that's for sure.

Kise pondered what to say next for a moment.

_It's not like it's important anyway, he has better things to worry about than me._

"Nothing. I was just walking." he replied, hating the taste the lie left in his mouth.

"See anything interesting?"

He hesitated again before mumbling into the sheets, "The sunflowers are blooming again."

Kise turned his head and looked out the window where the sun was now setting. If he had gotten up and looked down a few blocks away, he could see the front yard of an elderly couple who always kept sunflowers during the summer, and if he starred just beyond that, he could make out an old basketball court; alone and abandoned in the heat.

Outside, they could hear clearly that everyone had returned from the near-daily blood tests and x-rays in the upper floors, and soon there came a soft knock on the door.

The voice was sweet, but Kise knew what really hid behind it,

"If Kise Ryota isn't in this room then Kuroko better speak up now because-"

"I'm here, Riko."

Opening the door, she stepped into the room, in animal print scrubs and purple clipboard in hand. He couldn't help but shudder a little as her face broke into a smile,

"Thank god, otherwise something very terrible might have happened to both of you, and no one wants that right?"

"Good evening Ms. Aida."

"Thank you Kuroko, always the polite one, never _sneaking off when he's supposed to be on bedrest._"

Still feeling exhausted, Kise pulled himself out of the already tangled sheets and flashed her a frown, too tired to even come up with a good comeback.

"Are you alright?" her face suddenly turned serious and she strode across the room to his bedside, kneeling down to look at his face.

"I'm just tired, geez."

"Are you positive you feel well?"

"I'm fine, just tired from walking."

Riko glowered at him stood up again, "Well tired or not you still have to see Dr. Hyuga."

Her face softened for a moment as she reached out her hand and pulled him up.

"Besides, you shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard."

"So you're not angry?"

"Of course I am. Let's go."


	3. Burned

"I'm home." he called into the house, still expecting the same familiar voice that would always used to welcome him back. But everything remained silent, as it had for the four years.

_Stupid stupid stupid stupid, stop thinking about it._

Shrugging his bag off his shoulder and kicking off his shoes moved away from the door and into the kitchen, he caught out of the corner of his eye that the television was on, but muted.

_Fell asleep watching, huh?_

Aomine glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already almost 11, he didn't realize it was so late. Setting his bag on the floor he opened the fridge, scouring for something, _anything_ to drink. Per usual, the refrigerator was near empty. He ended up going with a bottle of water and calling it quits.

He picked up the gym bag again and as he walked towards the stairs made a slight detour to glance into the living room, where he knew a familiar sight awaited him.

The flat and bright images of the silent television reflected on her face, the shifting images cloaking her like a mask. Almost like an instinct, she opened her eyes and shifted her head to glance up at him standing in the doorway.

"You waited for me again? I told you not to do that anymore."

"What time is it?"

"Eleven. You should head home Momoi."

She sat up abruptly, hair slightly askew from laying on her side for so long.

"And you should come home earlier! That's not fair Daiki."

"I never asked you to do this, it's your own fault." he replied, already beginning to feel annoyed again. Between that and his encounter earlier it was turning into a hell of a day.

Momoi sat up and slowly rose to her feet, still in her uniform from school.

"I just worry about you that's all." she muttered, sounding more than a little peeved.

"How many times do I have to tell you it's fine for you to believe me?" he spat right back at her.

It had always been this way with her, worrying over the littlest things ever since they were little kids. Like what time he came home each night and whether he did his math homework or not.

"It doesn't count when I know it's a lie."

And needless to say, about the not so little things too.

Her words hung in the air between them, and Aomine could feel her about to apologize.

_Just stop, stop, damn it._

"I'm sorry-"

_Please, let it go already._

"I know."

Neither of them moved for a little while, letting the apology sink in, the only noise coming from the tick of the clock in the next room.

"I'll walk you home."

"It's two houses down, I think I can handle it."

"Just let me-"

"No. Go to bed already."

She bent down to adjust her socks and standing up again, glided past him and into the hallway to put her shoes on.

He wanted to say something, to even apologize if he had to but couldn't make his brain form sentences anymore. Ever since that _Kise Ryota _that afternoon it was like his brain had fallen into a haze.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Momoi called over her shoulder, voice a little more gentle than he wanted it to be.

Then almost as an afterthought she spoke again, louder and less kind this time,

"And don't forget to brush your teeth!"

He heard the door open and swing shut again, leaving just him and he ticking of the clock once more. Snapping the cap off the water he took a long drink and headed up the stairs.

Walking the few steps down the short hallway at the top he turned left and opened the door, shutting it immediately behind him and throwing the gym bag in the corner of the room, too tired to care about his uniform getting wrinkled overnight.

He was glad he'd gone back to school and showered there.

_I honestly think I would've drowned if I had to take one now, why am I so tired anyway?_

Immediately the face of that strange boy, the one with the fire in his eyes came to mind.

_But...why?_

Sighing loudly and rubbing his eyes, Aomine flipped onto his back and fell into the narrow bed, feeling all the springs through the thin sheets and blankets.

_Who was he anyway? What did he want?_

He shut his eyes, trying not to let his mind get out of control. But there was still one question that rose to the surface over and over again,

_How did he know my name?_

Nothing about Kise Ryota made sense. He was so pale and thin, but there was this unshakable strength about him that made him hard to topple.

How could someone who looked so weak be someone with eyes like_ those._ Amber eyes that seemed to glow with the dying coals of a fire, burned with something wonderful and terrifying and beautiful all at the same time.

Aomine turned on his side, trying not to remember them, the way they had lit up just at the mere mention of something like basketball. It was just basketball though, right? Who was that excited about _basketball_?

Aomine enjoyed it, there was no question there. But there wasn't anyone at school he could compete with, anyone he could truly call a teammate. It was what had driven him to that abandoned court in the first place.

He was so tired but had a feeling sleep wouldn't be coming for a long time.

Because every time he closed his own blue eyes he would see those golden ones burned into his head, and the more he remembered, the more...familiar they began to look.

_Sleep sleep sleep please just let me sleep. _

"Damn it." He muttered into the pillow.

It wasn't until a few hours later when he finally was drifting off to sleep that he heard the slam of the front door and muffled sounds of conversation, as his father undoubtedly dragged some women around in his room downstairs that he realized.

He had left the tv on.

Hi everyone! I just wanted to say a quick hello and that I really like writing this hehe

Sorry there's been no real aokise so far I promise it's getting there c: I just wanted to sort of mention most of the characters who are in this before getting down to business (muahaha)

I'm just kind of writing this as I go along so I apologize for any spelling mistakes and inconsistencies (I have terrible grammar I'm very sorry!)

thanks so much to everyone reading this please just bear with me here I'm new to the fanfic scene so thank you so much!


	4. Watercolors

"Ryota, come here…"

_Like faded film, the certain today will eventually grow hazy,_

"Ryota something happened…"

_Why...why does my heart hurt?_

"...everything's alright, everyone's going to be fine…"

_Although I'm afraid of living my meaningless questioning continues,_

"Please don't worry honey…"

_In the middle of lost memories,_

"...everything's going to be okay…"

_I seek to save someone,_

"...things may have changed but…"

_Your voice takes hold of me,_

"...he's still Dai-chan, you understand that?"

_and even if it's small, even if it can't be heard I will find it,_

"Darling?"

_For your sake._

* * *

Tetsu had been right, the Dragon was especially sentimental today.

"Are you going to say anything today, or should I just pack up my stuff and go home now?"

It must have just been with Tetsu, because Kise knew whatever feelings of nostalgia Hyuga was having earlier were long gone.

"You come to my sessions every week for almost a year and you have yet to say more than 10 words to me. Can you tell me why that is?"

The air in the room was uncomfortably stale, like the inside of an old book that hadn't been opened in thirty years. Kise was sitting slumped in a fake leather chair, while the Dragon had situated himself behind his desk, glasses perched on the edge of his nose and eyebrows permanently scrunched into a slight scowl. This was how most of their therapy sessions together went: Kise standing by his stubbornness while Hyuga glared at him and asked ridiculous (well in Kise's opinion they were ridiculous) questions, mostly about the past, sometimes about the present, and occasionally about the future.

"I heard you snuck out today."

Kise turned his head, something finally catching his attention in the conversation. He nodded once, keeping his expression blank. He didn't wanna talk about it with Tetsu, and his aversion to talking with his therapist was even larger.

He couldn't even figure out why it was he didn't want to tell anyone about it.

Why shouldn't I?

He could feel the tears start to gather behind his eyes just at the thought, and he remembered why.

"So you did?"

Kise pursed his lips and nodded again, trying not to show that he felt like he was about to cry.

"Why'd you do it?"

Kise shrugged. Anything more than that and Hyuga would immediately catch on. Despite coming across as irritable and sarcastic, Kise and all the other patients had how he acted when he felt like truly doing his job. He could pick up on the slightest cues, from hand gestures to eye movements, even the way someone holds their drink or writes their name, Hyuga uses all of that to analyze and determine the kind of person somebody is. And it was exactly that which made Kise so wary of him.

"Something happened."

It was a statement, not a question, and Kise knew he was losing the game already. He scratched his fingernails along the brown arm of the chair, trying to make himself look disinterested, when in reality with each word the therapist said he could feel the tears threatening to spill over.

Don't be a crybaby, don't let him see you cry.

Why even cry in the first place? It wasn't that big a deal right, he just went on a walk and happened to see someone he thought was interesting, that was it nothing more and nothing less.

"No wait not something...let's see…" he stopped for a moment. He was really thinking about this. "Maybe a someone?"

Crap.

Kise's eyes blurred and soon the whole room looked like a watercolor painting. He didn't want to think about stupid Aomine Daiki right now, he didn't want to remember that day when everything turned upside down and he forgot how to breath for the first time in his life, he didn't want to think about that anymore and yet here it was brought up in a therapy session that should have been just like all the others. And yet...

"Ah I see."

He tore his gaze from the potted plant he'd been staring at for the past five minutes and finally looked at Hyuga. Maybe it was Kise's head playing tricks on him but through the splotches of his held back tears he swore he could see Hyuga's face soften as he took off his glasses and polished them with a rag from his desk drawer.

"I hope you don't mind but I did look over your file more than a few times over the past couple of months. Your record goes back to when you were three or four to the first time you'd been diagnosed and by the age of nine were in remission. Then you relapsed again at age twelve." Hyuga stopped and stood, grabbing the cardboard box of tissue sitting on his desk and throwing them in Kise's lap.

Not surprising that he noticed I guess.

"Now that's just your medical record. Since I'm your therapist these are interesting to me but not consequential do you understand? I'm not especially concerned with just how you cope with your disease, Ryota."

Kise blinked a few times, trying to convey that he understood. He pulled a tissue from the box but just balled it up in his hands, trying to bring himself back down to reality.

"There was an incident, the same year you went into remission. An incident that I can imagine caused you a great deal of pain." Hyuga sat down in his chair again, the wheels creaking as it moved under his weight. "Now I don't expect you to talk about it now. In fact, I can't expect you to ever directly talk about it at all," he added the last sentence almost to himself, shaking his head a little before continuing,

"So, not only as your therapist but also as an unbiased third party, I suggest you talk to someone. Even if it isn't me. A close friend, a family member. Hell, talk to yourself in the mirror if that's what it takes. But you've got to say something. People aren't meant to carry things around Ryota. The more baggage you have the harder it is to get anywhere."

Kise clenched his jaw, trying to not let the words come pouring out of his mouth.

Why are you telling me this now? Why not 6 months ago? You don't think I already know all this stuff? I'm not a kid anymore!

He felt the delicate rip of the tissue between his fingers.

"And with that we are out of time." Hyuga said, standing up again and moving towards the door a few feet away. "I'll see you next week." Kise pushed himself onto his feet, a little surprised to find that his legs were shaking. He placed his fingertips on the desk edge, making sure all the tears had cleared from his eyes before even daring to move.

So Tetsu had been correct all along. Hyuga was definitely sentimental today.

* * *

So yes hello again! Thank you for the loyal people reading this you have no idea how happy it makes me to know people are actually enjoying reading this ahh~~~ thank you very much.

And don't worry about the plot, I have a general outline of it planned out now, and all will be explained (eventually eheh)


	5. Pointless

Aomine was uneasy. Even the basketball didn't feel right in his hands, the digits and grooves he was normally so comfortable with felt like pins and needles against his fingers. The sun was too hot, even for the tank top and athletic shorts he was wearing, the sun shimmering off the cracking lines that spread across the court like black vines.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ he thought, for what felt like the ten millionth time just that day.

"You better be here tomorrow so I can play with you, Daiki."

He growled just thinking about those words. He was here, and it was tomorrow. Aomine hastily shot the ball into the far hoop, watching it spin around the rim a few times and finally fall through.

Then where was Kise Ryota?

He watched the ball hit the ball and bounce away a few times, disappearing from the edge of his vision. I should go get that. But his body wouldn't move. It seemed that whether he wanted to or not, something had glued him to the spot. He couldn't repress a sigh as it rose in his chest. What was he even doing here? No, the better question was what was he doing here expecting him to actually show up. They'd just met by chance, no rhyme or reason to it. It really was stupid for him to presume anything. Still…

_His eyes...what about his eyes?_

He wished he had a watch. The only way he could tell the time was by the sun, and even in the sweltering heat it was still difficult to make out exactly how long he'd been there. He'd been in such a hurry to get to the abandoned basketball court that he nearly forgot the basketball, something that no matter what ways you stack it up would have been suspicious.

Aomine ran his hands through his dark hair, turning his face up and squinting his eyes to look at the sun.

_This is ridiculous._

"Hey, you alright?"

He felt his stomach drop. That voice…

"Daiki are you ignoring me?"

He whipped his head down and there he was: dressed in nothing but a pair of shorts and a shirt with The Who plastered on the front, Aomine felt his gaze, those eyes he couldn't get out of his head all night, the ones he had desperately tried to forget but had seemed to have ingrained themselves into his mind as if they were his own. He looked surprised, lips parted and eyebrows raised like he was about to say something again, a strand of hair falling out of place and across his face at a strange angle.

"I'm fine. It's just hot out here." Aomine managed to mutter, glancing down at his shoes and then back up at Kise. This repeated several times before eventually he settled on staring at a particularly large crack in the concrete a little ways away.

What is it about him that bothers me so much anyway? I can't even look at the guy for ten seconds without getting uncomfortable!

"Yeah tell me about it. They said it's supposed to be especially hot for the rest of the week."

He could hear the crunch of gravel as Kise moved closer, looking up at the clear sky just as Aomine was moments before. It took him a moment before he realized Kise was holding something out to him, "Looking for this?"

Moving his gaze back up, Aomine realized just how close he'd gotten. If he moved his elbows up a little, they'd be touching, feet only steps apart. "No...I just didn't wanna get it." he finally managed to reply, grasping the top of the ball and making sure to steer clear of Kise's own pale hands gripped below.

"You seem tired, are you sure you're alright?"

"Positive."

The silence between them wasn't unbearable, but it wasn't what Aomine would call good either. It was like in that minute or two of silence they both just just existed together, neither worried about what was coming and what had already come to pass. The sun retreated behind a cloud and a welcome wind started to blow softly.

"Can you teach me?"

"Hm? What?" Aomine spoke a little more freely now, allowing the silence to make himself relax.

"Basketball! You really weren't listening to me yesterday…"

"No, no I heard you!" he practically yelled back. He'd forgotten just how aggravating that voice was. Why had he shown up again? He couldn't even remember the reason why anymore.

"So, how about it?" Kise said, stepping even closer and leaning over on his toes. Aomine found that he couldn't move again. His own eyes tried to find anything else to look at except Kise's, but for some reason he knew it was pointless, he couldn't escape it any longer.

_God damn you._

Kise's hand grasped the top of his shoulder; his touch was like fire, burning through to Aomine's veins and blood, destroying everything in it's path. His chest was smoldering, making it difficult for even a single breath.

_Damn it. Why you? Why are you doing this to me?_

"Teach me how to play basketball, Dai-chan."

_Dai-chan?!_

That nickname broke him out of the almost trance he'd been put under, bringing him back to the real world in one second flat. "Hey, what's with the nickname, we just met yesterday!"

Kise just smiled a little and tilted his head, hands still resting on Aomine's shoulder.

"Right, yesterday." he said, sliding his pale hands down the length of Aomine's arm, like he wanted to commit each muscle and blood vessel to memory.

"But you know when it feels like you've known someone a long time, even though you've only just met?" he let his hands drop back to his side, still staring at Aomine's exposed upper arm.

"What?" Aomine replied, trying to find the right words to say. He'd never been good with them, but occasionally he could muster something besides a one word response.

"Never mind, forget it." Kise lowered his head and laughed a little to himself. In that moment he looked very far away, like he was remembering something he thought he might have forgotten, something important that he desperately wanted to return. The fire that normally resided in his eyes had been dimmed down to something more tame, a little less reckless and a little more sad.

Looking back on that single second, Aomine knew that was when he began to understand Kise Ryota in the most basic sense of the word, for the first time.

"If you aren't going to teach me basketball, I guess I'll just have to teach myself!"

Kise batted the ball out of Aomine's grip in a one deft movement, bouncing it once before holding it in his own hands as he spun on his heels to face Aomine head on. Any look of nostalgia his face held before had evaporated, eyes burning again with the light of a hundred golden suns.

With that new fire, Aomine found he could move again and instead of saying anything he lunged, letting the raging burn marks Kise had left at his touch to fuel him, move forward. But the other boy was faster than he anticipated, and soon he had danced around him dribbling the ball across the entire court. More than a few times his face would break into a grin and he would laugh, but even then Aomine couldn't catch up, even with his lack of concentration. Finally as they reached the 3-point line, Kise shot.

Sure, it was messy and unpolished but underneath that Aomine could tell this was not his first time playing basketball. The hoop rattled and swayed a little as the ball glided through it's nearly net-less rim.

"Liar." Aomine said as he clapped Kise on the back on his way to get the ball.

"Eh?! When did I lie to you?"

"You don't need me to teach you, you already know how to play."

"Doesn't mean I don't want you to teach me." Kise mumbled, barely loud enough to Aomine to hear.

Oh. _Oh._

"You mind if I sit down for a minute?" It wasn't until then that Aomine realized Kise was panting, his face even paler than before.

"What, exhausted after just that?" he taunted a little, walking back towards him with the basketball under his arm. Kise had already started to bend down where he was standing in the middle of the court, head turned towards the pavement. He looked up at Aomine as he stood right in front of him, face twitching into a smirk.

"Well I do have terminal cancer, so it makes sense doesn't it?"

* * *

so I wrote this at like 2 am last night and I'm sorry it's terrible I just got very motivated in the late hours of the night so this happened...oops

yes now things are finally starting to get interesting woo (well not good for poor Kise baby :c) but yes this is so much fun to write oh my goodness and I'm sorry if things look bad right now I promise they'll get better (probably after they get worse, I'm sorry!)


	6. Unknown

_Stupid stupid stupid, you are a stupid idiot Kise Ryota what is wrong with you, stupid stupid stupid._

The only noise left was the hum of the cicadas in the hot mid-day sun. Kise still sat on the ground, staring at Aomine's black athletic shoes and trying to suppress the urge to get up and run away as fast as he could. Why did he have to say that now? Things had actually been going pretty well, why couldn't he keep his mouth in check for just one second? He had tried laughing it off, but gave up when he saw that Aomine was staring at him, eyes huge and mouth slightly gaping. He knew then there was no getting out of explaining this one.

"Uh I uh-"

Kise took his opportunity to get past the subject as quickly as possible. The last thing he wanted was for everything to get ruined by his stupid problem. It had already done that once before, and he wasn't about to let it happen again so easily.

"Sorry, sorry that was an overshare." he finally found the courage to look up at Aomine's face again, forcing his lips into a smile, "See I'm fine now let's play again."

Slowly, because even though he said he was fine Kise knew his strength couldn't be trusted, he rose back up to his feet until he stood full height.

Still a little unsteady but I can handle for now.

"It's fine I just…" Aomine suddenly said, as if remembering himself again. "Kind of a bomb to drop on someone you just met don't you think?" he scoffed, his casualness obviously forceful.

But it was his words that had hit Kise like a sock to the stomach

_...someone you just met…_

Right. Just met.

He didn't wanna cry again, especially in front of Aomine. So he smiled instead, trying not to look him in the face because if he did he knew it would be all over. There would be nothing holding him back anymore especially with the familiarity of Aomine's face so surprised and confused, oblivious and naive. It wasn't even his fault that things were this way.

_That's what makes me the most angry._

Kise had finally found him, and here he was on the brink of losing him all over again.

"I like to get all the secrets out of the way, you know?" Kise finally managed to reply in a steady voice.

"Oh." Aomine paused, scratching the back of his head, "Well if it's sharing time I guess I should go next."

Kise felt the panic in his chest. Aomine had never opened up this easily before, was he really alright?!

"Huh?! No wait-"

"I'm kidding, just wanted to see you squirm a little." he cocked an eyebrow and lazily shot the ball for a 3-point shot. Kise felt the pain in his chest subside, his breathing return to normalcy.

_He really…_

"So you ready to play now, Kise?"

_hasn't changed at all…_

He couldn't help but smile for real this time.

_Dai-chan never changed._

* * *

"Oi, Kise, what's with your good mood?"

"Kagami, it's probably better not to ask."

"I'm sure if Kise wished for you to know he would tell."

"Hey, Kise say something!"

"Will you shut it already."

"Midorima you want to know just as much as I do!"

"I do not."

Kise couldn't help but smirk to himself, glancing at his friends situated around the cafeteria's fake wood table. It wasn't very often that they all could make it out of their rooms at one time in the first place, and the fact that he had a secret made everything better.

He still didn't necessarily enjoy keeping it from Tetsu, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun with Kagami, right?

"Kise."

"Hm?"

"You look very smug right now."

"Secrets aren't healthy Kise, spit it out!"

He just shrugged at the pair, trying to look as innocent as possible "I have no idea what secret you're talking about!"

"I don't understand why you care so much, Kagami."

Kise's gaze slid over to his left where Midorima was sitting, straight backed and picking at the standard, bland meal of vegetables and chicken they had all been given for dinner that night. He kept his left hand hidden under the table. He had been there the least amount of time out of the four, who slowly had grown together as the months passed by and they all figured out they wouldn't be leaving for at least a little while.

Midorima had always been more in and out than the rest of them, usually coming in for a few weeks at a time when he needed a bone marrow transfusion. Kise had been observant enough to figure out it was an acute form of leukemia that seemed to especially affect the left half of his body, but other than that, Midorima never spoke a single word about it.

That was the way it was with most people here, even if they don't say what type of disease they have if they get put on W4, the conclusion of cancer isn't difficult to draw.

"Yeah Taiga, why care so much about me, hmm?"

"Shut up idiot, I don't care. I'm just curious. I don't think I've ever seen you so happy before."

Kise just flicked a carrot in his direction, missing on purpose in case Kagami decided to start a riot over some food on his favorite Lakers jersey.

"It's really nothing!"

And considering everything at once, Kise realized it really hadn't been anything. All they did was play basketball. They had played until Kise knew he couldn't play anymore before being unable to move. He still had to walk back to the hospital!

_Maybe it wasn't just nothing…_

_"So where do you live anyway?"_

_"At a hospital."_

_"Oh,"_

_"Stop saying that you sound so shocked! It's not that big a deal!"_

_"Well maybe I'll…come…see you...sometime." _

Daiki wanted to see him again. He never thought he would get to think those words into the same sentence ever again, but there it was.

"There he goes, looking ridiculously happy again"

"Kagami I honestly don't see what's wrong with that."

"Stop making me look bad Kuroko!"

Kise chuckled. Midorima whispered "Imbeciles."

* * *

**Hi everyone I'm sorry this is so short! I just needed to write something down before doing my homework today or else I would get nothing done at all (ugh who needs school anyway)**

**So I hope you all enjoyed a little bit of backstory, don't worry everyone else will eventually have their's revealed as well :)**

**((I also desperately needed to write some fluff so yes slight kagakuro it is yay)) **

**SEASON TWO PREMIERES IN 5 DAYS WHO'S EXCITED?! (OBVIOUSLY NOT ME AHAH)**

**again thank you for reading this you are a beautiful person here is a virtual cookie**


	7. Denial

"Hey, Kise?"

"Hm."

Silence.

"What?"

"...Nothing."

Aomine felt more out of sorts in the past week than he had in almost his entire life. It wasn't like he paid much thought to anything except basketball anyway, but today was the third time his teachers gave him clean up after school for not paying any mind in class. He might not be the greatest in school but he never actually got in any trouble for it, until now.

He had been meeting with Kise Ryota for nine days. He knew because he'd been counting each and every one.

Maybe it was the way his eyes lit up at the strangest and most puzzling things, or how a strand of his hair would curl and fall in front of his face when he concentrated too much, or possibly it was how his clothes hung around his frame, obviously jagged against bone and pale skin but perfect all the same. Even the way his hands held the basketball with a sense of urgency and excitement Aomine had never seen before anywhere else, how his collar bones peaked out from the corner of his shirt when he moved.

And dear god, those eyes. Sometimes he thought if he stared into them long enough he could fall right into them.

Aomine didn't_ like_ him or anything.

_That's ridiculous, I've known him for not even two weeks it just isn't even possible!_

No, Kise Ryota just…catches his attention, that's all.

_Yeah, that's what it is._

* * *

"So uh I remember you saying that you lived at a uh hospital."

"Yeah, and?"

"You never told me which one so I kind of figured…well if I'm gonna see you then I need to know because well uh-"

"It's just a few blocks from here. You probably pass it everyday, I thought you would have figured it out by now."

"Oh that's…true."

"4th floor, since you seem a little directionally impaired. "

"Ey?!"

"Don't break my heart by not showing up okay?"

_Please, not again._

_Don't break me again, Daiki._

* * *

The Dragon seemed to have run all out of fire for the day. He had spewed at Kise for more than twenty minutes about leaving the ward without permission, but Kise couldn't bring himself to care. He wasn't going to let anyone ruin this. Not yet, just a little longer, he had to hold on a little longer.

The room had gone totally silent finally, save for the chop of the fan and the click of the clock slowly ticking off the seconds.

"His name was Daiki." Kise finally said.

"What?"

"Sorry that wasn't accurate. His name still is Daiki."

Hyuga was stunned into silence for a moment, too shocked that Kise had actually spoken while in the same room with him. Quickly regaining his composure he settled back in his chair and adjusted his glasses, glancing once and Kise but not giving eye contact. He knew how fragile this was, how one false step and everything would shatter into quiet again.

"I'm afraid I still don't follow."

"You said there was 'an event in my past around my relapse that caused me great pain'."

"Yes, I remember."

"That's all I can say now, that his name is Daiki. I'm very sorry."

And with that, Kise fell into soundlessness again, keeping his gaze fixed on the fake potted plant parked next to Hyuga's desk as he usually did.

* * *

"How does Ryota seem to be doing to you?"

Riko gave him a sidelong glance as they walked down the hallway. The end of their shifts rarely aligned so when they did Hyuga liked to take the opportunity to talk with his old friend.

"It's funny you should ask…I was just thinking about him myself." she paused for a second, tucking her brown hair behind her ear as she contemplated, "I think he's happier. That might sound strange to say considering the situation and all I can't blame him for being mopey before but now…" she trailed off again, still collecting her thoughts.

"I know what you mean." Hyuga replied, understanding everything unsaid that Riko couldn't put into words.

"He's been terrible about leaving though. I swear sometimes I could throttle him he's such an idiot." Riko answered, her face already growing more than a few shades of red.

"Really? I thought it was just those few times?"

"Kuroko, god bless his heart is a great friend but can't keep his mouth shut to save his life."

"You really shouldn't say it like that."

"Have you heard some of the jokes they make? Believe me Hyuga these kids are well aware of what's happening to them. And yet they seem to be having more fun enjoying life than we are."

* * *

Day fourteen. Saturday.

Aomine took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders a few times, shifted his weight from foot to foot. The way he was warming up for this, most would think he was getting ready to go for a run or about to play a game, basketball tucked under his arm.

_It's just a hospital, no big deal right?_

Apparently, wrong.

Taking one more full breath, he set his legs into motion and stepped through the automatic doors, the smell of cleaners and that distinctive smell that only comes with the old, sick, or injured hit his nose. His footsteps echoed in the mostly empty entry hall. There was a small commemorative fountain, a long desk with only two receptionists, and a few small uncomfortable looking couches filled the room.

_This isn't so bad._

"Ah, sir you need to sign in!"

Aomine snapped his head in the direction of the voice, spotting one of the ladies at the reception desk beckoning to him, even looking a little alarmed like 'how dare he walk in without signing in first, of all the nerve'.

"Oh, sorry." was all he mumbled as he turned a little and walked towards the desk. The lady motioned to an open binder filled with green forms attached.

"Just write your name, the date, and which room it is you're visiting. Aomine picked up the pen glued to the counter and scribbled everything she said in the spaces the paper indicated.

_Room number…_

He looked up, a little unsure of what to ask at first.

"Uh I'm sorry but could you tell me what room someone's in?"

"Patient name please." the receptionist sitting down at a computer said, glancing at him with raised eyebrows.

"K-Kise Ryota. He said the fourth floor…"

The women turned back to the screen and tapped the keys a few times, squinting a little and then typing even more. Aomine felt a pit of dread in his stomach as the minute passed on.

What if this isn't the right hospital? What if I'm not allowed to see him? What if he was kidding?

"Yes here we are. Room 411, Ward Four."

"Thank you." he jotted the number down and hoisted his bag up his shoulder more.

"He's a friend of yours?"

"Yeah…"

_Or something like that._

"Thanks again." he called over his shoulder as he turned and began to walk away. Then he remembered something and skidded to a stop "Could you tell me where the elevators are?"

The second receptionist smiled a little and said "Go down that hallway and turn right. They're straight ahead from there."

"Sorry, thanks."

He picked up his pace a little as he reached the end of the hallway and spotted the elevators, sleek and industrial looking against the white walls of the hospital.

As he pressed the button the doors opened almost immediately. Stepping through, he pressed another sleek button for the fourth floor. Inside the elevator there were posters of smiling children and fields of daisies._ Little ironic, isn't it?_

The trip up was short, and soon the doors of the elevator slide open and Aomine saw Ward Four for the first time.

_This is where he lives, huh?_

It looked different from downstairs and in the elevator: here there were no pictures of landscapes or happy boys and girls, no fountains or couches. He took a few tentative steps in, hearing the doors close behind him. No going back now, he figured.

Looking straight ahead was a short hallway, and beyond that was what he assumed was the nurse's station. There was only a few nurses actually sitting there, and Aomine felt the dread in his stomach creep back up again as he approached the counter.

"Excuse…me?"

"Yes, how can I help you?"

Izuki, that was what the nurse's name tag read.

"Can you uh tell me where room 411 is?"

Izuki stood and pointed down the hallway that disappeared on the right side of the nurse's station. "Straight down there, last room on the right." the man stopped for a second before saying "You're here to see Ryota?"

"Oh uh yes."

"He should be in there right now, you came at a good time."

"Yeah…thanks."

Aomine waved a little awkwardly as he made his way from the station and down the right hallway, focused on the last door at the very end, which his eyes could just barely make out. The fluorescent lights above cast long reflections, giving the illusion of there not only being light on the ceiling, but the floor as well, just like a mirror.

He slowed his footsteps as he got closer and finally found himself face to face with the solid wooden door. It was impossible to hear if there was any life on the other side, and Aomine found himself wanting to warm up again before going in.

What had he even come here to do? What was he supposed to say? _"Nice place you got here, how you feelin'? Sorry about not coming earlier, ha." _

_Shit. Screw it._

Forcing his arm to reach out and grab the flat handle, he slowly felt the click as the heavy door opened.

* * *

**Sorry but I had to stop there! so I apologize that this chapter jumps around a lot my mind just had so many ideas of what to write so then they all just ended up getting mashed into one thing (gomen, gomen) **

**I just really like writing Hyuga he is so much fun (⌒▽⌒) and I also tried to make this a little longer since I didn't post anything yesterday! **

**thank you sooo much to people reading this seriously you have no idea how awesome that is and if you have any ideas/suggestions for what might happen later on then please don't be shy! ~(=^‥^)/ (just a p.s. I am terrible at smut so this might get interesting later on we shall see)**


	8. Fear

Sometimes, Aomine would look back and wonder what would have happened if he hadn't gone into Kise's room that day, if he had turned around and gone back down the elevator and out of the hospital, still unaware of the small room in Ward Four that seemed like the last room on earth when he stood in front of it.

_Shit. Screw it._

Inside, the blinds were folded shut, the lights off too. The room was bigger than he initially thought, and as he stepped in further and shut the door behind him he could see that there were in fact two beds a few feet apart. The first bed was empty, sheets neatly made up and side table completely clear. But the first half of the room only held his attention momentarily, and glancing over at the other bed he suddenly felt the urge to run out of the hospital as fast as his legs would carry him.

Every single instinct was telling him to turn around, shut his eyes, get out because that far end of room 411 screamed dangerous and in the worst way possible.

_Don't do this now, you came this far you can do this, you can do this._

He tried to take another deep breath but just found the air hitching in his lungs as he took a few steps in.

_This was a bad idea, this was such a bad idea._

Even through the dimness, Aomine could make out each detail with precise detail, the image refusing to leave his head even weeks later.

He didn't think so many tubes and lines could come out of one person at a single time. They crisscrossed over his pale skin, like the twisted map of a highway system yet to be built, connecting to machines that Aomine couldn't imagine a purpose for. As he got closer he could hear the faint blip of a heart monitor, slowly counting off Kise's heartbeat like the thump of a drum, deep and gentle.

Aomine finally made it to the end of the bed, trying to not let his body take control and hightail its way out of there.

Kise was asleep. It was so strange, not being able to see his eyes for the first time. It made him different somehow, less like a man and more like a boy lying there in a too big gray tee shirt among the pale blankets only half covering his body. His head had turned to the side in his sleep, exposing a prominent scar running from the back of his hair a little ways down his neck.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god,_

The time he actually wanted to leave the rest of him refused to move, and soon he found himself unable to breath again.

Why had he come here? Why?

_I should leave before he wakes up. I need to leave._

But he couldn't.

It was too familiar, too close to home seeing someone like this. He had never wanted to come into a hospital again since what had happened four years ago but he had shut his fears out for this one boy expecting…well he wasn't sure what he was expecting. Kise told him, warned him even that he had terminal cancer. He had looked up terminal in an online dictionary when he got home that day. The definition said: predicted to lead to death, esp. slowly, incurable.

God, it just had to be you didn't it.

He stood there for ten minutes before Kise opened his eyes. They still looked the same, through the plastic tubes and machines he still had those eyes. They made Aomine's urge to run even greater; they were so out of place in this hospital room it was no place for a fire like that.

"Am I dreaming?" Kise muttered.

"Afraid not." he finally managed to reply, pushing all the emotion he could out of his voice.

Kise groaned and shifted his head, eyes never leaving Aomine's face.

"Sorry about this."

"Don't apologize, idiot." Aomine snapped back before checking himself. Kise just laughed a little and moved so that he was sitting up, looking a little less drowsy. He patted the space next to him, "Don't worry, I won't break if you come closer."

Hearing Kise's voice the way it always sounded made Aomine more at ease. Moving mechanically, he slowly found his way over and sat down, trying not to touch the tubes or any cords at his feet either. He faced the wall, still too uncomfortable to look at Kise up close yet.

"You sure picked a day to come."

Aomine didn't know what to say to that, trying to slap together a sentence before the silence became too awkward for the both of them to stand.

"It's fine if you wanna ask what happened. Sometimes the tumor likes to throw a temper tantrum and knock my immune system upside down so they're always super precautious."

All he could manage to reply with was "Ah."

Finally gather all his thoughts together he said "You were gone for a few days so I guess I…"

"Got worried?"

"Wha-? No I wasn't worried!"

"You totally were."

"...Shut up."

The silence wasn't so strange anymore, and Aomine could finally make his lungs function properly again. He set his hands out on either side and braced himself, trying to settle in a little more.

_This is just a part of him,_

He shifted and glanced at the array of machines parked at the bedside, following the tubes until they reached Kise's arm.

_No matter what's connected to him, Kise Ryota is always Kise Ryota._

He almost flinched when something warm glided over his fingers. Looking down a little he realized it wasn't a thing it was a hand. Flicking his gaze back up he saw Kise looking somewhere far away again, like he was lost. His pale fingers gripped Aomine's hand gently, barely holding on but still strong enough to stay connected.

"Daiki I…" Kise's voice was lower as he turned and looked at him.

"What?"

The pause was a long one, "Thank you."

And in that moment, Aomine wanted to kiss him more than anything in the world. So he did.

* * *

**ahhh yes I leave you on another cliffhanger. sorry this is shorter than all the other chapter I just am so sick and cannot physically force myself to stay awake and write anymore **

**so wait until the next installment for little kise's reaction to all this (oh goodness I'm so excited) (´ ▽｀****).。ｏ **

**I also apologize is this seems rushed I'm trying to really slow down my writing but i'm not sure if it's working or not oops**

**as always you people who are reading/reviewing are beautiful human beings and yeah *hugs***


	9. Promise

Kise had watched Aomine all his life, ever since they were kids. There was never a time when he couldn't remember the boy somewhere by his side. He had watched Aomine grow up. From his hospital bed he had seen him go from a little kid with a grin too big for his face to a boy of twelve with beginnings of muscles forming on his arms, Kise had watched it all unfold before his eyes. And even now after he hadn't seen him for four years he could picture him changing even more into an almost man who could barely contain himself.

But kissing was a whole different concept than watching.

He had seen it coming, yet even when Aomine's lips collided with his he couldn't help but yelp in surprise. He was clumsy, almost missing altogether but Kise closed his eyes and subconsciously shifted his head to meet him in the middle. It took a moment for both of them to react and in that brief second Kise could swear his heart monitor even went silent.

Then in a whirlwind they were moving. With each slide of his lips Kise felt his burn, but it was a good kind of burn, one that he wouldn't mind feeling again and again.

Yet something wasn't quite right.

_He's…nervous?_

Kise pulled away, trying to sound annoyed as he could even when his pulse was going insane through his chest.

"If you're gonna kiss me don't be a wimp about it Dai-chan."

Aomine just stared for a minute, mouth gaping in shock, eyes so wide they looked like the ocean.

_God he's so cute._

The cuteness didn't last long. Aomine smiled in a way Kise could only describe as mischievous. He had seen that kind of smile before, but back then it didn't make his stomach turn in anticipation.

"Fine then."

He kissed him again, more aggressively this time and Kise knew that any of his previous tentativeness was gone. He could feel Aomine's hand wrap around his wrist as he leaned closer in and at the same moment felt his tongue sliding along his lower lip, which was enough to make his face hot with embarrassment.

He had kissed people before, but never like this. The last time he had done anything close to his lips was when he had first been re-admitted four years ago and had to kiss a girl in a game of truth or dare.

_This…this is…different._

The sheets rustled softly as Aomine moved his other free hand from his wrist to his hip, slipping it ever so slightly up the edge of Kise's shirt.

The tension was building in his chest and slowly he opened mouth and gave in. The feeling of Aomine against him; tongue, lips, hands and all was something that should have been foreign but for some reason felt extremely familiar. He tasted like the blue popsicles they used to share as kids, like the summer breeze across the abandoned basketball court; he tasted like home.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, moving together trying to find all the ways their bodies fit together and all the ways they didn't. By the time they pulled away Kise found himself out of breath and boneless, keeping his eyes shut and leaning his forehead against Aomine's gently so that their hair intermingled.

"Damn, your heart's going crazy," he said slowly.

Kise was relieved to know he wasn't the only one who couldn't breath.

"Your…fault," he replied, still a little delirious. "Take…responsibility."

Aomine laughed softly, his warm breath tickling Kise's nose. It reminded him of a time long ago when they used to have sleepovers all the time, usually Daiki would end up sprawled over onto Kise's side of the bed and would breathe on him and talk in his sleep all night. But sometimes (only once that he could actually recall) he would sleep soundly, breathing quietly into Kise's neck as they both curled onto their sides with limbs tangled and pillows askew.

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry,_

"Sorry, I think I messed one of the uh things up."

He opened his eyes and lifted his head from Aomine's support to down to look at his arm to find he had been right: one of the picc lines had almost come out.

"I should call a nurse…" he mumbled to himself and twisted his head around to look for the remote. He could've sworn he put it somewhere around here…

"It's right there you know. What are you, _blind_?" Aomine motioned to right next to Kise's shoulder and smirked.

"Still your fault." He murmured, groping behind him and pulling the remote forward, pressing the red call button with his thumb.

While they waited, the silence poured in thick and heavy. It wasn't like the silence between them before though. Now, everything felt comfortable, customary, like this is the way things had always been. Then again, maybe they always were this way. It just took them a while to fall back into old habits. But one question kept bouncing around in Kise's head, a question he didn't want to think about now or maybe ever.

_Where do we go from here?_

"Kise listen, I think-"

The obnoxious ring of a cell phone cut him off mid sentence. Aomine reached into his pockets, muttering something to himself before sliding it to answer.

"Hello?"

The person on the other line seemed to be angry, immediately setting in on something Kise couldn't quite make out.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm…I'm at a friend's house." he paused and rubbed the back of his neck. That was another thing that hadn't changed about Daiki: he was a terrible liar.

"Damn it Momoi will you calm down I'll come back alright!"

_Momoi? Wait, Momoi…_

It had been a while since Kise had seen her. He missed it, her bringing him junk food when his parents weren't looking and telling him jokes she knew only he would laugh at. And glancing at Aomine's face again he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if they would all be together again, the way things used to be.

Aomine tapped the screen a few times, looking more than a little frustrated.

"I gotta go." he said, breaking Kise out of his trance and stuffing the phone back into his pocket. "This was…nice?" he continued, turning his face away to stare at the floor.

"Nice? Really? We just made out and it was _nice_?"

"Will you shut up!"

Kise could swear he saw Aomine's face get a few shades redder than he ever had before.

"It was…great. There. I'll see you later."

In one swift movement he stood up and was already halfway to the door before Kise could so much as call his name.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" he said not bothering to hide the hope rising in his voice.

Aomine raised a hand without looking back and Kise could've sworn he heard the words,_ tomorrow_,repeated back in an almost promise.

* * *

**gaah i'm sorry this was terrible ｡･ﾟﾟ･****(д)･ﾟﾟ･｡ ****i actually tried i promise!**

**yeah i don't have much to say besides KNB SEASON 2 PREMIERES IN 10 HOURS I SHOULD GO TO BED OKAY GOODNIGHT **

**thank you so much if you read and review really can we be best friends? (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)**


	10. Changes

"Kise, you seem different."

"Mmm really?" He wasn't listening.

"Yes."

"Yeah...that's good.."

"You aren't even listening to me, are you?"

"Hmm. Wait what?"

"Kise..."

"Wha, did I say something wrong?" he slurred, shifting to his side but making sure none of the ivs moved too much.

After Aomine had left, Kise's blood pressure had rocketed up and soon he couldn't keep his lunch or anything else in his stomach. Even now at 2 in the morning he couldn't sleep, his aching muscles from the hours of nausea keeping him just far enough away from any kind of rest. Kuroko didn't sleep much anyway. Sometimes Kise would hear whimpering in the rare moments he did sleep, tossing over his bed in some nightmare the other boy couldn't begin to imagine. If neither of them could fall asleep they would spark sporadic conversation just like right now.

"Kise." Kuroko repeated, sheets rustled as he turned over to Kise's direction. "Before, before you got sick. Did something happen?"

To lie or not to lie. Either way, Kise knew Tetsu would figure it out somehow. He always had. That was one thing that made him uneasy about his friend: he could figure someone out down to their very last secret when given enough time. He was an amazing human observer.

"...No."

"Liar." was the immediate response.

Kise groaned because he was too tired to fight against the dishonesty anymore. He didn't know why, but something about Aomine Daiki and the events surrounding him almost demanded to be kept a secret, one that Kise had to keep for himself.

"Not tonight. Later, okay?" he said as he turned on his back and stared with half-lidded eyes towards the ceiling. He didn't expect his put-off to work but to his surprise Kuroko replied

"Fine. Later. I won't forget."

"Yeah, I know." Kise couldn't help but scoff a little. Of course he knew Tetsu would never forget a promise.

"But Kise listen." Kise waited for a few minutes, too exhausted to even make a sound of acknowledgement. Then Kuroko continued, "Today, I only noticed because something about you was so different. Kise today…you were _glowing._ I've never seen you like that before."

The air conditioner sputtered to live by the window.

_Well that was not what I was expecting._

Kise shut his eyes and remembered the afternoon, how the light had filtered in through the blinds and cast perfect shadows across Daiki's face, the feel of his mouth against his, how when he touched him it felt like his body was breaking apart in the best way possible. In that moment it didn't matter that there were more tubes coming out of his arms than he could count or that even the sheets felt like stifling restraints against his skin. All that counted was Daiki and the fact that he was there: his chest and lungs, heart and tongue, everything about him was there. Kise felt a tear slid down his face but couldn't bring himself to hold it in anymore.

"Goodnight."

"'Night,"

* * *

When Aomine dreamed, the images and movements came through broken up and disconnected, like looking through a kaleidoscope. One moment it was there, the next it was gone, replaced by something else for just a second before it too disappeared. Sometimes it was hot, sometimes the leaves were falling, and occasionally the snow was just beginning to dust the ground with white. But always, always, he was there. Kise Ryota was always in every single one. Yet it wasn't the Kise Aomine had come to know in the past few weeks; this Kise was younger, his hair shorter and amber eyes wider. Sometimes all Aomine would see was the back of his head, an outreached hand, a gap toothed smile, but for some reason he knew they were all of Kise Ryota. Yet whenever he tried to reach out to grab that hand, smile back at that ridiculous grin, it was already gone. Every attempt he made to reach out slipped through his fingers like sand.

And sometimes, only sometimes, Aomine wondered why his dreams began to feel less like something his subconscious was making up and more like something his brain was trying to remind him of.

He didn't know whether to be annoyed that Kise had become all he could think about, or relieved that he finally had found something worth thinking of all this time.

* * *

The heat seemed especially unbearable today. It was only eleven and already the sidewalk was simmering with thick mirages from the sun. The air inside the hospital seemed like a breath of fresh air compared to the stifling humidity building up outside. Aomine scribbled his name on the sign in sheet and one of the nurses commented on his return (a comment he tried to ignore).

_What am I even doing here again? I mean yesterday we…_

Just thinking about yesterday was enough to make him shiver. What really had happened? Everything moved too fast; they talked and then he kissed him, then he really kissed him and…

_Shit, this is bad._

He walked slower than he had the day before towards the elevators, sneakers squeaking on the polished tile floors. Reaching the end of the hallway he pressed the button and waited.

When Momoi had called, his mind was almost too disoriented to respond properly. All he could remember about that conversation was something about a school project and a due date but other than that he had retained nothing. He thought at first he had fooled her, but that was quickly proved wrong when the first words out of her mouth were: _So, where were you really?_

The elevators dinged lightly and the doors slid open. Stepping through he pressed the button for the fourth floor and stared at his shoes as the door finally closed again.

He had managed to stall Momoi off, for now. Of course he couldn't just say _"Yeah Momoi I've been meeting with this guy for the past few weeks and I may or may not have sucked his face for more than ten minutes before you called did I mention he's a guy oh and by the way he has cancer"_. No. Never. She would either laugh and blow it off as an elaborate joke or not speak to him for a few days and right now he didn't really need either coming from her.

The doors of the elevator slide open again and just as he stepped out he found himself almost running straight into something bulky and metallic.

"Oh, excuse me."

Aomine shifted his gaze up and finally saw it was a wheelchair, and in it was a boy that must have been around the same age as him.

"No sorry. Go ahead." he maneuvered his way out of the elevator doors and around the wheelchair, watching as it rolled inside and turned around with amazing speed.

"Thank you."

What a weird voice, it's got no expression.

"Sure," he replied

The doors slide close, taking the boy in the wheelchair with them.

_He seemed a little…off? _

Maybe off wasn't the right word but he couldn't dwell on it now. Aomine turned and kept walking. He swept past the nurses station, thanking god that there was no one there from yesterday who would make another comment like the receptionist.

_It's not like I have a choice. He asked me to come back so I did!_

He turned down the hallway and spotted the door on the end. Room 411. He ignored the ball of nerves in his throat and swallowed them down, setting his feet in motion. Even now his feet kept wanting him to turn around but this time he wasn't afraid because he had seen it, he_ knew_ what awaited him on the other side of that door.

I have to do it, not just for myself but…for him too.

And this time, he pushed open the door without any hesitation.

Kise was awake, face buried in a book Aomine couldn't read the title of but dear god he looked so great with his legs sprawled out over the sheets and his tongue stuck out ever so slightly in concentration that Aomine just couldn't help himself. Almost all of the tubes from yesterday had disappeared and he looked almost completely normal. He felt the final bits of his fear evaporate as he heard the words,

"Dai-chan!"

And for the first time, he began to think maybe the nickname wasn't so bad.

* * *

**ahh i'm sorry not much happens in this chapter besides the fateful aokuro meeting has officially begun (oh god) so yes next chapter i promise lots of fluffy happy aokise moments to make up for all the angst before (and the angst to come sorry not sorry) **

**I THINK I'VE MEMORIZED ALL OF EPISODE ONE I WATCHED IT MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT TODAY OOPS (ESPECIALLY THE INTRO MY BABY KISE DEAR GOD AND LETS NOT FORGET HANAMIYA *casually drools on keyboard* ✿ ‿ ✿ ) **

**thank you so much for the reviews Ｏ****(≧▽≦)Ｏ ****you guys are so sweet thank for reading this thing seriously thank you!**


	11. Needed

_Kise is so hot..._

No literally, Aomine felt like his shoulder was about to light on fire where Kise had decided to rest his head.

_Is he always this warm all the time?_

He tilted his gaze down to glimpse him, completely absorbed in his book again. Occasionally he could brush a strand of hair from his face or turn the page but other than that he stayed totally motionless, eyes transfixed. It was enough to make Aomine feel more than a little ignored.

Yet at the same time he couldn't help but use the time to look at Kise, really look at him.

Aomine knew the boy was good looking with his golden eyes and thin frame, but looking closer he could tell there was so much _more_ than that.

Kise probably didn't realize but when he focused his eyebrows drew together and formed little wrinkles on his forehead and just the slight tip of his tongue was visible from between his lips (which although he hated to admit it was driving Aomine insane). Kise would never notice how his shoulder felt pressed up against Aomine's arm, the way his knee fit perfectly against the other's. Just in the few places they were touching Aomine felt starved, he wanted to touch everywhere, learn all the lines and imperfections, feel his heart pound against his.

_Fuck._

_How did this even happen?_

When Aomine had first walked in, Kise had immediately scooted over on his bed and smiled that ridiculous smile and well, he couldn't help himself. Kise of course had cuddled up to him right away, nuzzling Aomine's shoulder and bumping their legs together like it was the most natural thing in the world.

_How long have I known him again?_

What did any of this mean? Does Kise like him in _that_ way? Does he like Kise _that_ way?

_No no no no absolutely not that can't be what this is._

"Dai-chan."

He hadn't even noticed Kise close his book, turn his head so that his head resting on Aomine's shoulder was facing him.

_Shit that just can't be what this is._

"Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Suddenly all the places they touched got even hotter, the air in the room thicker.

"Sorry, you don't have to if you don't want you…that was stupid I can't believe I-" Kise muttered, eyes going downcast and face getting red faster than Aomine could even begin to react.

_This idiot._

"Don't tell me what to do." he snapped, the frustration growing and in the last second before he felt like he might lose control grabbed Kise's face on his hands and smashed his lips into his, not caring about the outcome.

Kise was a good kisser, Aomine could tell that much even with his own limited experience. Not to mention how soft his lips were and that they tasted like vanilla, it was enough to make Aomine want to touch him even more, which he didn't know was possible for one person to want something so much.

Before he even realized it his mouth began to wander away from Kise's lips and down to his jawline, leaving lighter kisses as he moved down to his throat. The grip Kise had around his neck tightened as he pulled Aomine even closer.

_Does that mean…he wants me too? Like that? Like how I want him?_

He buried his face further into Kise's pale neck letting his teeth knick the skin and his tongue graze over, trying not to lose himself in the overwhelming feeling of Kise pressed against him, holding to him.

"_Daiki_." The word came out a half moan and half completely breathless.

And at that, he failed his own restraint again, starting to bite and suck even harder.

He wanted to know, he _needed_ to know that this is what Kise truly wanted, that it wasn't just all in his head and some stupid delusion that someone like him could actually be wanted, _desired_, by someone like Kise Ryota. Someone who was hopelessly tragic and so much better than anything he could think of, a person who laughed and smiled like they meant it because they wanted to not because it was a necessity.

"_Daiki._"

It was like his name was cataclysm to his own body, pushing him forward and making him give until he couldn't anymore. He finally began to feel the adrenaline dying down, and slowly but surely made his way back up to Kise's lips, where everything began. That mouth was what started everything, when they first met, discovering he was sick, those dumb jokes, telling him to come back tomorrow, all of it; everything.

When they kissed this time, it was like time had slowed down to accommodate them for all the times it had sped ahead too quickly before. It was more gentle this time, more like rain and less like fire, but Aomine was still enthralled by it. Because then he realized that it didn't have to be like the past two times all the time. They were allowed to take things slower, to find out more about one another.

_Maybe for now, that's enough._

Once the broke apart, Aomine opened his eyes and breathed for what felt like the first time in a week. It was only then that he noticed he was practically laying on top of Kise, but that at some point his hand had found a way into Kise's hair, entangling itself in the mess of knots and silk.

"Hey…"

He fought the urge to look up, almost too tired to lift his head. But per usual, he couldn't refuse.

_What is it about him anyway… I can't figure it out_

"What," he mumbled, raising his head to look Kise in the face.

_Oh,_

It was obvious he had been crying. His eyes tinged red and the stream marks on his face were tell tale signs but crying? _Really?_

"Did I-? Did I hurt you?" he tried, finding with a bit of a shock that his voice was hoarse.

Kise shook his head and covered his face with his hand in a flash, realizing that Aomine must have noticed something. "No it's not that, really!"

He was quiet for a moment and then, "I'm just really happy right now, that's all…"

And it was in that moment that Aomine began to fall in love for the first time.

* * *

**ahh this took me forever I am so sorry it's so terrible（；￣****д￣）** **it started off as fluff and then turned into whatever this is don't even ask because ****_i don't even know okay_**

**so I probably can't update for a few days because last week I was out for 4 days because I was sick soooooo yeah I have a lot of make up work so that's what I'll be doing instead (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥****) oh well **

**again big thanks to everyone reading/reviewing you are all beautiful people lots of love (´∀****) **

**I also apologize for if mine seems very out of character in this oh god I'm just very sorry I promise real stuff soon**


	12. Discovered

When he woke up, the other side of the hospital bed was entirely empty.

_Wait, did he really just fall asleep?_

Shaking his head a little, Aomine propped himself up onto his elbows, only then noticing the blanket thrown haphazardly over his legs.

_Where is that idiot now?_

He squinted a little and looked around the room. The thin blinds had been drawn again, but even through the cracks in them Aomine could tell the sun was shining brightly through the windows. Across from him there was a closed door, and underneath it the light shined from the crack in the bottom. There was some noise coming from behind it but he was still a little too groggy to tell what it lights in the room had been turned off too, just like when he had first come here the day before.

_The day before…_

Then everything came crashing back in an instant. Yesterday he had kissed him, and today he had…he had…

"Oh god." he muttered to himself, "What's _wrong_ with me?"

What was it about him that was pushing him completely off the edge? He never lost control, not in that way, or in any way for that matter. What's so special about Kise that he can't seem to keep his head on straight for more than two seconds when he's around? Sure he had liked people before, but for some reason he had a feeling this was something totally different than just _like._ It was something more like…

Longing?

He was so preoccupied thinking about how Kise totally scrambled his brain that Aomine never saw the other person sitting at the other end of the room.

"Good afternoon."

Aomine's head whipped around so fast he thought his neck might break. He had heard that voice before…but where?

"Um excuse me?"

Yes, definitely familiar. What a strange voice.

"I'm over here."

That's when his eyes finally found him. Sitting with his legs hanging off the sides of the opposite bed, the boy in the wheelchair stared at him with unflinching eyes. Aomine blinked a few times, unsure of what to say. His mouth always seemed to fail him when he needed it most.

"Who are you?"

"Kuroko Tetsuya. Although I think the more appropriate question is who are you?"

The boy named Kuroko bundled up the edge of his shorts and lifted his legs up onto his bed, keeping his eyes glued on Aomine. He folded his arms and kept staring.

_Does this guy even blink?!_

"I'm Aomine Daiki. We saw each other in the elevator, remember?"

"Yes. I remember." Kuroko stopped and his eyebrows twinged ever so slightly as he appeared to begin to think about something. Aomine waited for what seemed to take forever. His impatience made his foot shake subconsciously. _Where the hell is Kise?_

"Why were you asleep in my roommates bed then?"

_He's so...blunt?!_

"Uh well I, uh I mean, we're…friends."

"Do boys over the age of ten often sleep in other boy's beds?"

Kuroko leaned forward, placing his elbows on top of his knees and his face in his hands. Was this kid trying to _intimidate_ him? He looked like he couldn't be over fifteen with those gigantic eyes and wobbly looking legs. _Well if he can't walk that would make sense._

"Well?"

Aomine paused and turned his gaze to stare at the wrinkled sheets in front of him.

"No, I guess not…" it was barely a whisper, but something about Kuroko told him that he could probably not say anything at all and he would still understand. Something about his strange demeanor just suggested that he was more of an watcher than a doer. Those kind of people just drove him crazy.

The room went totally quiet again but Aomine could still feel Kuroko's gaze from across the room. So this is who Kise shared a room with everyday and night. It almost made him want to laugh at just how opposite the two were when compared, and couldn't help but want to see how they got along (or didn't). Then everything slammed into him again and this time he could actually feel the heat in his face. _Stop thinking about it, dear god what are you a 14-year-old schoolgirl, pull it together! _

He glanced back up at Kuroko who, just as he suspected, was keeping his blank stare fixed on him.

_Kise c'mon where are you,stupid?!_

Suddenly the door across from him swung open, and the culprit himself finally showed his face.

_That stupid, beautiful face. _

Kise ran a hand through his damp hair, towel slung around his neck, the only thing he wore a clean looking tee shirt and a pair of boxers. Aomine felt his nerves spasm slightly just at the sight of him. There he goes again. Kise at first didn't seem to notice either of them, lazily scratching his head yawning a few times before really opening his eyes. And when he did they widened first in shock and then in sudden realization.

"D-Dai-chan?! T-Tetsu?!"

Then Aomine was moving all at once, finally able to let his frustration and restlessness out. It only took him one second to reach in front of where Kise stood in the doorway, and he desperately tried to ignore the fact that the other was hardly wearing _anything_ and dear _god _they were so close.

"Hey! Where the hell have _you_ been?"

"You fell asleep so I took a shower!"

"Why didn't you just wake me up then?!"

Kise pouted and leaned forward into his toes so that their faces were inches apart.

"Because then you would've left without saying goodbye, I just know it!"

Before Aomine could back about how he would never do that ever, there was another voice who spoke before him.

"Kise."

"_What?" _

"What happened to your neck?"

Aomine felt his insides go cold. _Kise's...neck...? _He glanced down from Kise's face and almost stared, jaw dropped at what he saw.

Down the left side of his neck splotches of purple and pink bruises had started to blossom, stretching all the way from the bottom of his jawline to the top of his collarbone in a colorful display.

"Did I...was that...?" the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Kise just laughed a little, sounding extremely nervous and more than a little alarmed.

"What are you…ha Tetsu there's nothing on my neck do you need glasses or something ha..ha.."

"That didn't even make sense. Why would I need glasses for-"

"Tetsu is seeing things, right Daiki?"

The single moment of pause was a tense one before Aomine realized Kise had been talking to him, "U-Uh of course!" he sputtered, looking to see the urgency in Kise's eyes as they both began to laugh more than a little forcefully together.

Kuroko was also obviously not convinced of _anything_. He narrowed his gaze and switched back and forth between the two of them in the uncomfortable silence.

"Fine. You said you had to tell me something later so you better explain this too."

And with that he turned away from them to lay on his side facing the wall, seeming to have given up completely. For the time being at least.

Kise's sigh of relief was so loud Aomine wanted to slap his hand over his mouth just to shut him up.

* * *

**ugh I'm sorry this update was basically super pointless I just have no time so this got written over the past few days in the like 5 minutes here and there I could spare (****ノ****ಠ****益****ಠ****)****ノ ****(school is so dumb why)**

**but at least now the kuroko/mine meeting is out of the way so now I can move on and write about the really fun stuff mmmm ┐(****￣ー￣****)┌ **

**ok so I literally have not stopped listening to this song whenever I write this and well just thought you might be interested to see where all this is coming from: watch?v=I6xMgHoZmkw (((my feels ouch)))**

**you all are the sweetest seriously every single on of you is amazing thank you so much (****づ｡◕‿‿◕｡****)****づ **

**EPISODE 2 IS IN TWO MORE DAYS FFFFF (sorry I get overly excited for that stupid show)**


	13. Breathe

The receptionist, whose name he had learned was Alex, smiled from behind her glasses,

"Back again? How is he?"

Aomine glanced up from signing his name and smiled a little halfheartedly back.

"Good, I think."

Day 27. It had been almost two weeks since the first time they had kissed, twelve days since well..._that_.

Sure they had kissed since then, slow and careful, both of their hands gently wandering and exploring, tracing and learning. It wasn't like the first time, all tongue and heat and rushed touches that still made Aomine feel like his skin was on fire just remembering it. But now it was Kise always initiating things, and Aomine had let him. He wouldn't let himself, no, he _couldn't_ let himself repeat that Sunday, he would never let himself lose control with Kise like that again. The bruises (Aomine would never admit he gave someone a hickey, let alone to someone laying in a hospital bed) had faded over the past weeks but until they had completely disappeared it was a constant reminder; he had _hurt_ Kise. The one thing he never wanted to do and he had actually done it.

Pressing the elevator buttons had become routine, something he didn't have to think about anymore. Over the past few weeks he had met a few people from Ward Four, all of them very sick and more than a bit eccentric. There was Kuroko Tetsuya, who Kise said had suffered neural damage from a tumor on his spin had lost all feeling in his legs even after the cancer had been removed. Kagami Taiga, who suffered from a growth condition that caused him to never stop growing didn't had cancer, but had just been moved to the ward to be with the other patients around his age. Kise had said there were two other boys, but one of them was in and out and the other never left his room for anything or anyone, even in the four years Kise had been there.

_Can't help but feel bad for them, it's not like their little kids so this hospital is all they know. I'm sure everyone had lives before this, lives probably kind of like mine. Then again, they probably didn't go around making out with other guys..._

Wake up, school, practice, hospital, go home, homework (which involved more staring at it then actual doing), sleep, repeat. It was the same thing everyday but Aomine never felt bored or restless like he did before.

The elevator ride felt much longer than usual. Twice in the past two weeks Kise had been taken into critical care, but every time he always stabilized and within a few days was back in room 411 looking the same as always like nothing had happened. It never failed to surprise him, Kise just sitting in the corner chair or lounged out on his cot when only the other say he had been put on a respirator and coughing up blood into a bucket.

The doors of the elevator finally opened. Aomine sensed him before seeing him, like a piece of him was totally untuned to the other. Then all at once, Aomine knew how to break the routine for the day.

* * *

Kise couldn't remember the last time he had tasted a real hamburger. When he had decided to wait for Aomine in the ward corridor that afternoon, the last thing he was expecting was...whatever this is.

_"Come on."_

_"Eh wha-"_

_"Good no ones around we can make a break for it."_

_"Wait what the hell where-"_

_"Don't ask questions moron just run!"_

"Dai-chan?" He said, glancing up from the burger in his hands and up at Aomine's face across the too small plastic table he had chosen in the corner.

"Mmmph?"

Kise leaned forward into his elbows, bumping their legs together accidentally under the table. He tried to keep a smile from his lips when he said with all seriousness,

"Is this a date?"

Aomine, who had been inhaling food like he'd been starved suddenly stopped and stared for a few minutes. Then his eyes got wide and he gulped loudly, as if just realizing that he had basically kidnapped Kise and taken him to a restaurant for almost no reason. He hadn't even let him pay.

"Of course it isn't." his eyebrows snapped together in annoyance and he flicked a finger at Kise's forehead. "I just figured you need to get out more, that's all. It's not fair they shouldn't keep you locked up like that."

Kise hummed a little, "Mm, you busted me out of my ivory tower, very romantic."

"So what that makes you a princess or something?"

"If that's what you're into then-"

"_Don't even go there!_" he practically yelled, attracting more than a couple of curious glances from the people sitting nearby.

"Dai-chan remember, inside voice!" Kise nabbed a fry and bite into it, waving the other half around Aomine's face. He could see how red Aomine had turned but pretended not to notice.

"Shut up." he muttered stepping on his foot under the table, and even Kise could tell that he was being careful. It had been like that ever since that one day a few weeks ago, even when Kise would provoke him Aomine would give in but…Kise wasn't sure of the word himself.

_He's too…nice._

"Hey Kise,"

He snapped back into focus to look at Aomine.

"What was your life like, before I mean before all this?"

"Do you really want to know?" Kise felt his stomach tying up in knots. How was he supposed to explain his life without including all his times with the other boy? How could he just leave that out like it never happened?

_I guess to him, they never did._

"Yeah I wanna know. I wouldn't have asked otherwise…" his voice was softer this time, as if he just remembered that this would probably be a sensitive subject for anyone with a terminal illness.

_Yep, still the same Dai-chan._

Kise sighed and straightened his back a little to stretch.

"Where do I start…" he whispered to himself, feeling Aomine's eyes on him with every move of his muscles. "Where to begin…"

* * *

"A few weeks after my third birthday, I started having seizures. Of course my parent's thought it might be epilepsy so they took me to the doctor where they did a brain scan and well, the screen light up. I don't exactly remember everything but there was lots of tests and procedures because no one understood. The type of brain tumor I had, sorry have, is called glioblastoma multiforme or just GBM. It's really rare and normally doesn't occur in people under the age of 50 but for some reason there was this little four-year-old with a giant incurable tumor in his head. My parent's tried everything: chemo, radiotherapy, symptomatic, gene transfer, even surgery."

Kise turned his head and pushed the hair at the back of his neck away, revealing the scar Aomine had seen his first time visiting.

"And then by the time I was nine, I had basically recovered. They all screamed 'It's a miracle' but I can't help feeling like it was just a coincidence. It just so happened to be me that survived and not most of the other's with GMBs."

He turned his gaze out the window, trying not to look at Aomine during what he was about to say. He knew if he did then he would cry, and right now that was the last thing he wanted to do again.

"But whether it was a coincidence or not those next three years were the best I can remember. I had my best friend back, I could go to school again, my parent's could finally breathe easy for a while. Yeah those...those were the best, I think. That sounds stupid but, nothing could've made me happier."

He stopped. Sipped his drink. _Breathe._

"Then, a lot of things happened. My friend he…his mother died in a car crash. I relapsed. Everything started over again, same crap for the second time pretty much."

He finally found the strength to glance in Aomine's direction, who even stopped eating and gone completely silent.

"And well I've been in that permanent treatment ward ever since. There's not much to tell besides that, most of the time I've been there I was either puking, having therapy, or not being able to move. I've even been in a coma for a few days."

Now Aomine's eyes were wide with shock and regret but Kise couldn't stop now.

_No, I have to see this through to the end._

"Not everything had been bad. I made friends, even with the nurses and doctors this time. I laughed until my sides hurt. I ate crappy food with some the best people I've ever met. I learned how to play basketball. I met you. And now, here we are. Full circle."

He shut his eyes and smiled. This time it wasn't forced at all. Breathe.

"You're really fucking amazing, you know that right?"

Kise opened his eyes slowly. _Don't say things like that it makes me... _

"Nah, I just have good luck."

* * *

**oh my goodness hello again yes I am sort of back now officially woo~~**

**yes so now I can actually write the actual plot of the story so yay this makes me very happy I like this very much. I tried to make it a little longer since I have been gone so long (sumemasen!) and that basically my writing is slowly getting worse but you know what that's okay right o (◡‿◡✿)**

**but did you guys like Kise's backstory I am sorry if it seems too unrealistic or stupid I did my research and you can look up GBMs they are real I promise! **

**thank you so much for everyone reading this you are sweetie pies ehehヾ****(´▽｀****;)ゝ**

**OK THE NEW EPISODE MURA IS THE CUTEST MOST PRECIOUS BOY ON EARTH NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE GOODBYE**


	14. Reckless

**ALRIGHT GUYS so before we start this chapter I have a question: Would any of you be interested in reading a kagakuro split off of this same plot line? Because I really like writing this so I think their relationship could be interesting too but I want to know if anyone would actually ****_read_**** it. sooo yes if you think I should do that once this is finished, which I'm thinking is going to be in around 10 more chapter but that's still iffy, please let me know! ( ＾∇＾****) **

**see you at the end of this chapter! uwu**

* * *

The sun had set by the time they strolled out of the restaurant together. The sky had turned an amazing blend of purple and orange and yellow, making it seem more like a painted picture than something created by nature. Kise had always loved sunsets; they meant another day had passed and was coming to an end, and that another day would surely come in the morning with a new sunrise. Kise wasn't sure where they were going, and when he asked Aomine just grinned a little slyly and replied,_ "It's a surprise."_

It had gotten cooler outside too, and he soon was shivering a little in the thin shirt he had been wearing from earlier. I hadn't planned on going outside for another few days but…he glanced over at Aomine walking to his left, staring at the ground, I guess this guy had other plans.

"Kise. You're friend, you said his mom died in a car accident four years ago right?"

Kise felt his breath hitch but just nodded trying to keep his nerves in check,

"Yeah, it was…bad. He was in the car with her too and well, he suffered complications from it. He didn't die or anything but…" he trailed off, not sure how to explain it. He hated thinking the words forming in his mind, he wanted to kick himself for even occurring to him and yet,

"It almost would have been better for everyone, including himself, if he had."

Aomine sputtered a little sounding more than a little shocked, "What?! Why would you say that?!"

Kise hesitated, he knew this was delicate territory now. He couldn't risk exposing the entire truth to Aomine now, it was too late for that. Maybe when they had first met it would have been, but then again Kise doubted the stubborn boy would have believed him even if he tried to tell him.

_I guess the doctors were right. I wonder if he even remembers the accident? He was in the car after all..._

He breathed deeply a few times and stuffed his hands in his pockets, rolling a spare coin in between his fingers to keep his attention occupied.

"It's just that what happened to him…caused a lot of pain for everyone close to him, and in the end for himself too…I just wish I could have helped him, in some way, in any way but…after that accident, things between us were never the same. Not to mention I was in the hospital so much so we could hardly see each other anyway…" Kise felt the pressure building up behind his eyes, God I am so sick of crying.

He shook his head, trying to keep it as clear as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was cry when things had been going so well.

"Sorry I didn't mean to um upset you, I'm sorry." it was almost a stutter, and Kise couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth. Just those words were enough to making everything a tiny bit better for the time being, those two words: "I'm sorry."

_Yeah me too. I'm sorry too, Daiki,_

"I'm fine, really!" he managed to replied and then paused. " But all we've talked about is me, why don't you tell me about you?" he spoke again, trying to shift the focus away from the subject.

_Aomine looked surprised, his eyes brows rising as he appeared to start thinking very intensely. How can someone be that adorable when they're just thinking about something?_

"There's not much to tell really." Aomine replied and rubbed the back of his neck slowly.

"Birthday August 31st, 3rd year, I've lived here ever since I can remember. All I do is play basketball and visit you, guess that makes me pretty pathetic right?" he chuckled softly.

"You're not pathetic. Not yet anyway!"

"Gee thanks…"

Kise couldn't suppress his laughter and ended up muffling it with his sleeve. Aomine pretended to be annoyed and rolled his eyes. When Kise gained his composure again his eyes slid sideways to catch a glimpse at his face. Looking at Aomine Daiki, Kise knew he was different. He had an air about him, radiating something that was almost like a narcotic; addicting and entrancing. It was like he was on a whole nother level compared to everyone else, he traveled on a totally different track, and Kise couldn't help but wonder if that track was ever lonely.

_What is this feeling?_

And Kise knew.

Kise knew he was in love with him. Totally, recklessly, madly, deeply, absurdly in love with him.

"Ah, here we are."

_I really am terrible…_

"Surprise!"

_I'm so sorry, please forgive me._

Aomine grinned sarcastically and motioned to a house sitting in front of them.

_I know it's not fair but…_

"I'm home." He called into the seemingly empty entryway, shutting the door to keep the warmth in.

_But you can't…please…_

Kise felt a hand slip around his hips, chapped lips meet his in a single moment.

_You can't love me too. Because I…_

Contrary to everything his mind was screaming his body moved in closer, feeling Aomine's hands reach up and frame his face. He groaned, letting his arms wrap around the other's neck and thread through the bottom strands of Aomine's hair.

_I will destroy you._

* * *

"So, this is your house huh? That was the surprise?"

"What, not shocking enough for you?" Aomine called from the dining room.

"Not at all it's…perfect."

_Even the house is just as I remember it. Nothing really has changed since I went into the hospital._

Kise wandered through the living room, his socks making barely any sound on the wooden floor.

As he lazily walked around the room he spotted a row of pictures sitting on a bookshelf, some of them pushed to the back and others displayed proudly in little frames.

_I wonder what happened to all our pictures…_

Not really paying attention, Kise picked up the nearest frame and saw a picture of a beautiful women, with dark hair and kind eyes waving to the camera, holding something in her arms that looked like a giant fluffball of blankets.

_Oh, this is-_

"That's my mom. And me, sort of."

Kise hadn't even heard him walk up. But there he was, breath tickling the edges of Kise's ears as he leaned over his shoulder. He swallowed hard, trying to act naive.

"Really? She's very pretty,"

"Yeah, she was."

Kise gritted his teeth, forcing his lips to turn up innocently as he turned his head to look at Aomine's face. "She was? What happened?"

Aomine moved away for a moment, staring at the floor as his voice dropped to a strained whisper.

"She died in a car accident. Four years ago."

* * *

**gaaah so this took me so long to write because ugh this is the last day of the quarter for us so I had to take 4 tests in one day PLUS the psat thank you florida ( ≧Д≦) **

**so I know not a whole lot happens in this chapter but I really wanted everyone to finally make the connection to why aomine doesn't remember kise (if you still don't get it don't worry everything will make sense by chapter 15 ok do not worry friend) **

**eeeeeeep thank you everyone for the follows and review and such it's just so amazing t-t-thank you (」゜ロ゜****)」**


	15. Shivers

_I don't know. I don't know his favorite color or if he likes honey in his tea. Or if he even likes tea. I don't know what song he listens to when he's upset or what his favorite cereal is._

_But I do know. I do know his smile is amazing and his laugh is really loud but it's kind of like music to me. His clothes are really simple but they look really cute on him and he wears glasses sometimes and looks beautiful with or without them._

_And I really wish. I really wish I knew what song to play for him when he's upset and if he wants tea I want to know if I should put honey in it (if he even likes tea). And what type of cereal to get him if he wants some._

_But I'll never know._

_Because I am a time bomb, running on borrowed time. And he is the boy I want so badly not to completely wreck._

_(even if I know I will)_

* * *

Hyuuga had told him to write everything he could. Write everything down, no matter what it was. Even the stupidest thoughts and ideas.

"I think writing would be good for you," he had said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "As much as you want to deny it I know there must be a lot of pent up emotions inside of you. I believe that writing will help you get those out. Can you do that? For me?"

Kise sighed and set the pen down, watching as it rolled and fell off the cafeteria table. His mind wandered to three days before, when Aomine had decided to take him to his house. It was strange, the memory carried a certain nostalgia to it already even though it only happened a short time ago. Nothing had changed since the last time he had been in that house just before the accident. Before he relapsed. Before everything had changed.

Of course as his mind roamed he couldn't help but remember what had happened after he had set the picture of Aomine's mother back on the bookshelf. The pain in his chest was enormous looking at his face. It was a look Kise never wanted to forget because in that moment he knew: this is what it looks like to lose someone you love. This is what he will look like when you die. He had stuffed the voice down, moving to wrap his arms around Aomine's shoulders and nestle is his head next to his clavicle. At first the other boy was so tense, as if he was afraid that if he moved the moment would be ruined, but eventually he settled and Kise felt his muscles relax against his, warm and inviting._ "I really am sorry."_ he had whispered into his shoulder, breathing in Aomine's scent of fresh laundry and the faintest hints of cologne he probably put on that morning but had long since faded away._ "I know. It's okay."_ the other replied, moving his arm to the loosely enclose around Kise's lower back.

_"I didn't mean to make you sad."_

_"...then make it up to me."_

Kise had felt Aomine's hands shift in one swift movement to his legs and had soon hoisted him up into his arms and was moving faster than Kise had time to even think of protesting.

_"I really am your princess hmm?"_

_"If that's what you're into babe."_

_"I like the sound of that: babe."_

_"Shut up, you're so corny."_

Aomine had moved up the stairs faster than Kise thought possible. _"Why don't you make me shut up?"_

_"Oh I will."_ Kise had seen it coming and quickly lifted his head to meet Aomine in the middle. This kiss was a totally knew one, not as fevered as their firsts but not as sweet as their lasts. It was faster and thicker but still sweet and deeper than anything before, their tongues colliding almost immediately. They were finally finding a way to fit together all the pieces of themselves, and Kise decided immediately that this was the way he wanted to kiss forever.

They had reached the top of the stairs and at this point Kise had a fairly good idea of where Aomine was taking him. Just the thought of seeing the inside of his room again was enough to make his blood pound through his veins even harder. Kise was vaguely aware of a door being opened and shut, Aomine's grip loosening as he bent lower. He had a feeling he was laying on something soft and then the realization had hit him, this is his bed, I'm laying in Daiki's bed. Before he could even think anything else Aomine's hands had moved from under his knees and back to his chest, moving in lazy drawls across his stomach. Something creaked and Kise felt their legs intertangled as Aomine crouched over his entire body.

The whole time their lips had never separated, locked firmly together as they moved. When they broke apart for that first time both were so out of breath they just panted for a few seconds before either could say or do anything. Then both their eyes were open and interlocked, gold clashing against dark blue in a mixture of part need and part disbelief. Then they were kissing again, and as Aomine's hands slid up his shirt Kise knew: _I don't want to die._

As his hands grabbed at the edge of his shirt and he moved to pull it over his head, disengaging for only a second before Aomine pushed him back onto the bed again with his mouth, tossing his tee shirt god knew where. I don't want this to end here.

He tugged at the bottom of Aomine's shirt too which he willingly threw off without so much as a second thought. He bent lower as his hands started to move again.

_I want…_

Kise couldn't stifled the gasp that tried to escape his captured lips as Aomine grazed over his nipples, and he swore he felt him smirk as his tongue made an especially unfair move against his lips.

_I want to stay with him._

Feeling a surge in strength he moved his hands to Aomine's chest and pushed, shifting as quickly as he could until his he had braced himself above the other, breathing hard. The look of Aomine's face had been priceless, and Kise wished he had a camera so that he could capture the moment, every moment.

_I don't want to disappear._

He smiled and laughed softly and bent over to press his lips to Aomine's neck, feeling the rapid bump of his pulse through his skin. Moving slowly down from his neck all the way to his chest he had let his teeth nip at him gently. He felt Aomine's grip around his hips tighten and slacken with each pass he made, taking care to glide his lips especially over his upper chest, leaving trails with his tongue as Aomine shivered.

_I want to be with him, for as long as I possibly can, please._

He felt something pressing up against the side of his leg and moved his head to look at Aomine's face. When their eyes met he knew his face was bright red, and Aomine was a mirror image.

_"What? You're the same...way."_

_"Well I can't control it!"_

_"And what you think I can?!"_

He narrowed his eyes, trying think of a comeback. But then, Aomine had started to laugh. He was laughing so much Kise could feel the vibrations of his chest through to his own, and soon he too had dissolved into nothing more than a pile of restrained giggling, falling against Aomine's chest with his ear pressed to his heart. Even though they both had a hard-on it didn't seem to matter.

Then he had said that word Kise knew he would never forget. It was barely a whisper but he wanted to hear it again and again no matter what it took.

_"Ryota…"_

* * *

"Kise."

He snapped his head to his left in an instant. Trying to keep a blush from rising to his face from the memory he had gotten lost in.

"Taiga?"

"You alright, you kind of phased out there."

He nodded a little too enthusiastically, "O-Of course I'm alright. I was just…thinking."

Kagami peered down at him, looking critical, "Right. Thinking."

He stepped closer and gazed down over Kise's shoulder at the still-open notebook sitting at the table. Once he realized what was going on he slammed the small book shut with a snap.

"Don't look!"

"Is that a diary?"

"No! Hyuga told me to write my thoughts down so that's what I'm doing."

"You do know that is the definition of what a diary is right?"

"Shhhh, don't speak anymore. Not allowed."

Kagami stooped and clapped Kise's back a little roughly, "You just really hate being wrong."

"Shhhhhhhh." he brought a single finger to his lips and frowned straight into the other's face.

Kagami just grunted and stood up straight again, putting his hands into his hoodie pocket.

"You are such a little kid…"

"He's just in love, ignore him."

Kise choked on his own breath with shock and twisted in his chair to face behind him,

"Tetsu?!"

"Good afternoon Kise, Kagami."

"Kuroko?! What are you talking about?!"

"I'm sure Kise will explain it to us all eventually. We just have to be patient."

"No, I think he's going to explain _now_." Kagami turned on his heels and had his hands on Kise's shoulders in a grip that could only be described as intense.

"Tetsu!" he whined, trying to keep a straight face, "Shut up!" but this time Kise could not hide the bright shade of pink that flooded his entire face.

* * *

**woooooah alright so this was uh...interesting. i tried to write something a little more uh well you know and then i realized i would have to change the rating and i really didn't wanna do that so yeah...this happened...sorry**

**sorry its really just me being a shitty writer and not making things move along but i ****_promise_**** real progress next chapter okay i really swear this time (_ ) **

**so its like past midnight now where i live and i need to go to bed because neW KNB TOMORROW AND DNA AND LOG HORIZON GOD I LOVE SATURDAYS **


	16. Remembered

**okay so before we begin this chapter I would just like to say one thing: as far as ****_experiences_**** together go at this point in the story, you can assume they have gone as far as you want. now I wanted to spare you all the ordeal of having to read my horrible smut writing so yeah, I leave all of that up to****_ your_**** imagination! **

**now this chapter's a long one and it's kind of rough (I may or may not have cried writing it) so woo let's go! **

* * *

_"Dai-chaaan!"_

_Blur, cold, snow, white._

_"Ryo, wait!"_

_Voices, the sky, clouds, a dark blue jacket, a red hat._

_"You gotta catch me first!"_

_The snow was too thick, he was falling through, white, blinding, laughing._

_"No fair!" there was snow in his mouth, "You always start without me!"_

_A mitten, pulling, grabbing, reaching, that voice,_

_"You're so clumsy Dai-chan!"_

_More snow, a different voice,_

_"Daiki, Ryo-chan needs to go back now."_

_"But I wanna stay with Dai-chan!"_

_"We'll come back tomorrow, I promise."_

_Noises, clouds of breath, streetlights,_

_"Just a little longer Mom, pleeeeease?"_

_Mom._

_"Five more minutes. Don't tell the doctors okay Ryo-chan?"_

_"I would never tell, never ever!"_

_Mom. Kise._

_"Daiki, go on and play."_

_"Yeah Dai-chan, let's go!"_

_Snow, warmth, hands, cold._

_"Hey come back!"_

_Darkness._

* * *

Every dream was the same. Different scenes but the same people. Sometimes Momoi would appear, colorful hair cut short in scuffed tennis shoes. Sometimes a pair of parents he had a faint memory of, with golden hair who always smiled. Sometimes his mom, although most of the time she was unfocused and looked more like a sketched outline than an actual person. And always, always he was there. Through whatever was going on, whether it was on a hill in the snow or a white room that smelled of antiseptic his amber eyes were always there. His small voice and slender fingers which seemed to have a habit of working themselves and playing with Aomine's hair were never absent even when all else was.

The sunlight was streaming through the windows onto his bedroom floor. It was the first day of summer break and surely the sun would be beating down mercilessly but his mind was still stuck on his dream in the freezing snow.

_Why would I dream something like that?_

When he came to his senses he almost felt his heart stop in his chest.

_Oh, right. That's today._

He couldn't stifle the groan as he forced his sore muscles to move as he sat up. He rubbed his face with his hands and threw the covers to the side.

You have to go this year. With or without him.

The floor felt too hard beneath his feet as he stood and lazily walked to the bathroom. Glancing in the mirror he could see the beginning of crescent shaped marks forming down his neck and shoulders.

_"Why do you do stuff like this?" He had motioned to his bare torso which even then had born the mark Kise so loved to make. Aomine wasn't sure how they had ended up on the floor but there were blankets and pillows everywhere and dear god have mercy Kise looked so good in just a pair of black boxers and with the sheets wrapped around his shoulders._

_"It's just payback for the first time. I had to wear sweatshirts and scarfs for a week because of you!"_

_"Revenge only equals more revenge, Ryota."_

_Kise turned his face away looking somewhere between annoyed and embarrassed and said_

_"Don't say that with such a cute look ok your face it's distracting..."_

_Aomine had scooted closer until the tips of their noses touched and Kise's cheeks had flushed red, "So my face is cute to you huh?"_

_The both moved closer subconsciously and when Kise laughed Aomine could smell the sweetness on his breath, "Stop it!"_

"That moron, making me wear real shirts all the time." he muttered to himself, but his lips couldn't help but spread into a smile. It was then he realized this was probably the happiest he'd been in a while. Ever since...

The smile died and there was a dull stab in his chest. The memories of the past week were almost enough. Enough to make him forget about today. But that stupid dream...

He shook his head and started to brush his teeth, trying to clear his mind of anything at all. On the bedside table his phone started to ring. He spit into the sink and walked as quickly as his muscles would allow and picked up the phone without looking at the i.d.

"Yeah?"

"I'll be at your house in 5 minutes, I picked up flowers this morning so be ready okay?"

"Satsuki..."

She clicked her tongue on the other line,

"Nope, no arguing. Be ready!"

"Hey! Satsu-"

The dial tone cut him off with a single monotone beep. He locked the phone and set it down on the table again.

_Guess I don't really have a choice now._

Once Momoi had set her mind on something she never let it go. And it seemed she had made Aomine visiting his mother's grave for the first time in 3 years that new something.

* * *

There didn't seem to be any life outside that day. No cars, no insects or other people. Even the birds had stopped singing and the wind refused to ruffle the branches of the trees.

_It's too damn hot, even for them._

The crinkled paper wrapped around the bundle of gardenias Momoi had picked up that morning rustled as he tightened his grip on the end.

"You didn't have to come." He muttered, turning his head to watch her as they rounded the corner through the cemetery gate.

"Do you remember where we're going?" She replied, ignoring the question entirely.

"Oh course I do."

_Really, how could I forget?_

There was no one visiting the graves that day. As he weaved through the narrow stone paths the memories came back in bits and pieces, floating by him and only growing thicker as they got closer.

He had been in the car when it happened. It was dark, it had rained. He was on the verge of falling asleep when the lights of another car flashed through the windshield and then, nothing. It was all nothing for so long. By the time he had woken up a whole two weeks had passed by and the brightness of the hospital room were far too bright compared to the nothingness behind his eyes.

About a week after that, he found out his mom had died that night. It was instant. They said she didn't suffer, that she didn't feel any pain.

He was _twelve years old._ Kids who were twelve weren't supposed to only have a dad. And he was well aware of that. He was different now. None of the other children, even his friends, looked at him the same way again. Even adults didn't know what to say. But they usually styled with the same two words: _"Poor thing."_

It wasn't until a few weeks after waking up that he found out about his memory. Even though he had felt something was missing, it was too abstract to put a finger on. The doctors had explained to him as best they could that he had suffered moderate brain damage and portions of his memory were gone.

He hadn't cried until that day. He hadn't cried yet but then he realized why._ I don't even remember her. She's dead and all I have are a few memories left out of the countless ones she should be in. Why can't I just remember?!_

His dad had hardly spoken a word about his mom's death to him. No check that, he had hardly spoken a word to him about _anything_ since then. Satsuki had been the only one to treat him like he was still him. Maybe that was why they had stayed close all these years.

Almost like his feet were acting on their own, he suddenly came to a stop.

_This is it._

He had meant the words to be said out loud but found they had died in his throat. The marker was plain, nothing extravagant or beautiful, not something that was truly worthy of her. Even through the few memories he had left, Aomine was sure that she was a far more amazing person than those hazy moments could ever convey.

Momoi cleared her throat and bent her head down to say a prayer and to pay respect. He mirrored half heartedly. They stayed like that for a few minutes, in the total silence of early afternoon. He knew he should be saying something, thinking something, anything, but for some reason he couldn't form words in any way that day. Momoi lifted her head and looked at him. He felt her eyes on his face but couldn't bring himself to look back. Instead he set the flowers down on the ground at the edge of the marker.

"I'll wait for you at the front gate, okay?" she didn't wait for his acknowledgement before turning on her heels and moving away, leaving Aomine completely alone with his mom.

His body was frozen._ What do I do now?_

Finally he glanced around, making sure that Momoi had definitely gotten out of earshot. He didn't want anything to happen while she was looking. It was already bad enough she had decided to go with him, never mind the fact she basically had to _drag_ him out of the house.

"I'm sorry it's been so long." he stumbled. Aomine wasn't sure what to say to someone you're not sure can hear you, but he figured an apology is probably a good place to start.

"I should come visit you more. It's probably lonely out here." he looked up at the sky, totally cloudless and stilled like the surface of a lake.

"I'm doing okay. Well actually I think I might be better than okay. For the first time…" he stopped and looked back down at the stones at his feet, "For the first time Mom I feel like I can breathe. I…I'm not afraid of being alive anymore." he hesitated unsure if he should actually say what he was thinking.

_I'm the only one here. I can say whatever the hell I want._

"I don't regret living anymore, Mom!" he laughed, in spite of himself, "And I owe everything to him. You would like him a lot he's…he's amazing…" Aomine shook his head, trying to get the ridiculous image of Kise laying curled into his side, hair facing every which way and breath just barely audible over the pounding of his heart, out of his head.

"Mom I…I think…"

_Who am I talking too, anyway?_

"I think I love him."

The wind picked up, scattering the leaves covering the pathway, making Aomine's shirt rise just above his waist.

And then. And then, well. If Aomine had been asked ten years down the road exactly what happened in that moment, there would be no way he could respond. Everything just came together. Like the final piece of the puzzle that he had been searching for so long for had finally fallen into place, like the sky had ripped open and all the stars and universes could be seen from the single point where he stood.

_Ryota…_

All of those dreams, all of those moments, those collections of thoughts, they weren't just dreams and moments and thoughts, were they?

_Ryota…_

He was faintly aware he was moving, running, the rest of the world just a blur of blue and green. Someone was calling to him, _Satsuki?_, but the pounding of the blood in his ears was too loud for him to tell. The road was endless, stretching out forever. He wasn't sure how to get there but the only place he could think of in that moment was the hospital.

_Oh god, Ryota._

His lungs were on fire, sweat soaking his skin and the sun blinding his eyes but it didn't matter anymore.

_Ryota, how long have you been waiting? _

* * *

**wow okay then! *wipes brow* this took me literally an entire day to get down when i should have been writing an essay for my ap euro class but you know what i obviously have my priorities straight so ****_this_**** gets written first!(◎ヮ◎****)**

**so anyway, i'm thinking this will only go for about 3-5 more chapters (i THINK i can get everything i want in by then but we shall see) and i'm thinking about making TWO different endings: one for those people who want the angst and another for those who want the fluff. or maybe not, haven't decided yet. **

**OKAY SERIOUSLY GUYS ALL OF YOU ARE SO SWEET IM SAD THIS IS ALMOST OVER BECAUSE ALL OF YOU JUST LEAVE SUCH GREAT REVIEWS (ﾉ≧∀≦****)ﾉ ****(special shoutout to Blank Angel you're reviews make me laugh and smile so much OH MY GOODNESS) **


	17. Always

_"Sir, you aren't permitted into this area."_

So many words, couldn't they just shut up for ten seconds?

_"Sir please, I'm sorry but only family members are allowed during visiting hours."_

No, they didn't understand. They didn't understand that he was his family, spent almost every hour of the day with one another, that they had grown up together. That they were going to grow old together, too.

_"I'm very sorry. Honey, can you tell me your name?"_

Why did his name even matter anymore? What was the point of him having a name if he couldn't hear Kise say it? Just one more time, he needed to hear him say his name.

_"Excuse me but could you wait here? I'll go check your name alright, just wait a little longer."_

How?

He was fine yesterday, and the day before that and the day before that. Why this day?

_"Everything checks out. Although the family sounded a little surprised…how exactly do you know the patient?"_

It was so cold, _I can't feel anything. Why is it so cold in here?_

_"Just follow me, right this way."_

The lights were too bright. Everything was too much. His senses felt so overloaded they were on the verge of exploding.

A door. He was alone. _Why does it always begin here? At some stupid door?_ Yet this time when he faced room 604 in the ICU, there was no fear. The thing he was feeling now was something beyond fear, beyond simply being nervous and afraid of what he might find on the other side. Because he already knew now, how to face that kind of fear. This was different. This kind of terror was mind-numbing and piercing like falling into through thin ice in January or seeing the edge of the precipice but_ knowing_ you're going to fall off.

He wasn't afraid of seeing Kise. He was afraid of not seeing him. Not being able to recognize the boy whose eyes shone when he laughed, the boy who liked to trace along the Aomine's spine with just the ends his fingertips. The boy who often stared off into a place unfathomable to most, the boy with the scar on his neck and i.v. lines on his arms, the boy who told cheesy jokes and lame attempts at flirting might be counted among the most adorable thing in the world. The boy who always put too much ketchup on his french fries, the one who had mapped out his entire body with his hands, whose head seemed to fit perfectly in the crook of his shoulder.

Most of all, Aomine was afraid that when he opened the door, that boy, would disappear forever.

_I can't. I won't. I won't run. Not now._

On the inside, room 604 was everything he expected it to be. The only real difference between it and 411 was the lack of the second bed. Instead that space where Kuroko's bed should have been there were machines. So many machines, Aomine could never begin to guess what they all did. The lights were still too bright, the noise was too much even in the nearly empty room.

Nearly. But not quite.

It was nearly impossible to tell, but there he was. Aomine took a breath. Held it. Let it go.

Each step forward was more difficult than the last.

_Why? Why now? Why this?_

Before he could find control over his muscles again he was on his knees, resting his elbow on the very edge of the hospital bed. He couldn't feel his body anymore, it was just a vessel now, a tank running nearly on empty. But he didn't have anymore fuel to keep it going.

_Why you? Why me? Why us?_

As he lifted his right hand he saw it was shaking. He searched for Kise's hand among the mess of tubes and wires, among all the things keeping him alive.

It was so warm. He was so warm.

_Thank god, thank god, thank god, thank god,_

Aomine had never believed in any sort of god. But in that moment he wanted to thank whoever was up there for that piece of warmth. The sun was still alive. His head dropped, in a sense of almost relief with that tiny spot of reassurance.

_He isn't gone, he's still here, He's not leaving._

"Ryota." the name had slipped out, barely audible above the blip of the monitors and constant whirring of one of the giant devices in the room.

"Dai…ki?"

Like an automated response, his entire body felt warm again. Even though his voice was weak and cracking, it was still Kise's voice. It was the one he had desperately wanted, needed to hear.

_Yeah, that's my name…isn't it?_

He lifted his head slowly, still unsure of whether he wanted to look at Kise's face yet or not. What if the boy he had known wasn't there anymore. No. That's not possible. He would never change. As their eyes met, Aomine wasn't sure how he had been seeing Kise before, because now everything was sharper and enhanced, like he was seeing him with brand new eyes. Because he wasn't just Kise Ryota, the one he had met in the hospital with the beautiful eyes and infectious smile, the one he had fallen in love with.

Now he was the Kise Ryota; who had stood by him through everything, who had built snowmen with him in the winter and sandcastles in the summer, who had always wanted to sleep on the right side of the bed because the breeze was cooler there. The boy who had to stay in bed, the one that hated eating anything green and always shared his chocolate chip cookies. He had been all of those things _first_. And now…

_And now… _

Aomine hadn't cried since he had lost his memory. He guessed it only stood to chance that he should cry when he gained it back. The tears didn't stop, silently streaming down his face no matter how much he tried to wipe them away with his spare hand.

"I finally caught up." he managed, finding it difficult to breath. "So…"

Kise shifted ever so slightly, wincing, but couldn't tear his gaze from Aomine's face.

"Don't go. Don't leave me behind. Not again Ryota."

He felt Kise squeeze his hand. It wasn't tight or strong, but it was still there.

"I…never…left…you." he smiled weakly, trying to hide the fact that he was about to be overcome with tears too. "Always…I've…always…been…here."

_Always. What a fantastic word._

Aomine gripped Kise's hand back tighter. _Always._

"You're such a dork."

"Takes…one to…know one"

They laughed; Kise sounding hoarse and Aomine still choked up. He smiled, and Kise smiled back.

_Always. _

* * *

**so i apologize that this is so short but i feel like I really owed you guys something after leaving the previous chapter like that! so here we are and uh well I honestly feel like if it ended here most people would be happy (because when it actually ends the way I'm thinking of then most people will probably not be so happy oops) yeah you guys can basically kick me out of the fandom at any time now**

**ugh this is so rushed and sloppy I really am sorry about this chapter and all of the crappy sentences and word choice just bleh I still have chem homework how is it only monday (´∩｀。****)**

**I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU ALL ENOUGH FOR THE REVIEWS, I READ ALL OF THEM AND THEY ARE JUST SO NICE AND AFBDKSJAH YOU ARE ALL SO NICE AND GREAT I NEVER THOUGHT PEOPLE WOULD READ THIS SO THANK YOU (◑‿◐)**


	18. Fragile

It is said that there are five stages of grief a person must endure; whether it be over a breakup, the divorcing of parents, or loss of a loved one.

Stage one: Denial

Stage two: Anger

Stage three: Bargaining

Stage four: Depression

Stage five: Acceptance

Death and lose is an inevitable fact of life everyone must face. That's a part of being alive, despite the irony. In order to be alive, we must experience death.

Aomine didn't know a lot about life. He was seventeen; trying to get by between his ignorant father and crappy home life in an attempt to make things even the slightest bit better for himself. He had never cared much about anyone or anything. His world was just an illusion he had built around himself to hide his heart from the truth: He was alone. Completely alone.

It was true, he had friends, a family, even a pet goldfish when he was younger. But none of it ever truly meant anything to him.

But he had figured it out. The whole reason his life _felt_ so empty was because it _was_ empty. Without the memories of his past he could never hope to live a happy future.

_Kise Ryota._

One name was all it took to change everything. And as he looked at him with his brand new eyes filled with times long since past, Aomine finally understood what it meant to truly love someone besides himself.

It wasn't about wanting to sleep with someone or thinking they had a pretty face, or liking the way they talked or the way they dressed.

At first, he wasn't sure he even _liked_ Kise. Attracted too, yes. Liked? No way.

Yet despite it all, he knew from the second their eyes locked for the first time in years on that abandoned basketball court; he loved Kise.

And he always had. _Sorry it took me so long to catch up, babe._

* * *

Kise had fallen asleep. His hand hung limply in Aomine's, but he could still feel the steady pulse of life pumping through it. He clung to that beat like a lifeline, hoping it would keep him tethered to the ground long enough to catch his breath.

When asked the doctor had explained how Kise had had a seizure, a very bad one. He had been put in a medically induced coma for a few hours to allow his body to recover.

_"You're his friend?_" the doctor had asked with an innocent smile.

_"He's…I'm…yeah. We're…close."_

_How do I respond to these people when they ask such awkward questions?!_

Aomine didn't know how long he had been there. Once Kise had started crying, which in the end was going to happen at some point, it had taken a while for both of them to calm back down. They had hardly talked at all but Aomine just knew that Kise understood. He understood everything that had happened without a single word. Neither of them had the strength to let go of the other's hand the entire time.

He figured it must be late, all the light had faded from behind the drawn blinds, and the hospital floor seemed to have fallen especially quiet.

"Daiki."

His head jerked up from where he was resting beside Kise's bed. His voice was stronger this time, that had to be a good sign. "What? What is it? Is something wrong?" the questions came faster than he had intended them to.

Kise tried to laugh but ended up more coughing pathetically before saying "I just want water, calm down. Can you hand me the cup on the table over there?" his other hand raised a few inches and pointed to the rolling table closest to its side.

"Oh yeah, sure."

He stood up and reached across the bed with his unoccupied hand and snatched up the styrofoam cup, handing it to Kise's outreached fingers.

"Thanks…"

He sipped tentatively at it, letting just a few drops slide down his throat before drinking again. "Feeling a little better?" Aomine ventured, trying not to sound too hopeful as to what Kise's answer might be.

"Some, I guess. But who knows when they're ever gonna let me out of here…" he coughed lightly again and lifted the cup back up in a motion for Aomine to take it back.

"It's no fair, your bed is so much more comfortable."

Aomine moved to set the cup back down and scowled in Kise's direction, "When you get out you can sleep in my bed as much as you want. But for now focus on getting better, okay?"

"As much as I want hmm?"

"Yeah, whatever…" he sat back down in the spare chair he had found in the corner.

"I'll have to start feeling better soon then…"

"You better. Or else."

"You're very threatening when you're scared."

"Aw shut it already."

Aomine rested his chin on the bed, fixing his gaze on their interlocked hands. He watched as Kise's fingers shifted around his own, making the pulse monitor press harder against his skin.

"I'm sorry, Daiki." The words were barely there but Aomine could hear them nonetheless. He felt a flash of anger well up deep inside him.

"Why are you apologizing. It should be me who's saying sorry not you."

"But I-"

"Kise I don't want to hear it."

He felt something sharp dig of his fingernails into his hand as Kise leaned forward, "Will you just listen to me for one second?" his voice was stronger this time, more firm and definite.

Aomine stayed silent, a little bit stunned, but furrowed his brow to show he was listening. Kise sighed slightly and turned halfway onto his side so that he faced Aomine more head on.

"I shouldn't have lied to you. That's my fault. If I had just…just tried to explain things to you then…maybe-"

"Maybe what?" Aomine scoffed, finding it hard to believe what he was hearing, "If you had told me about this I would have thought you were insane. I mean really the way you seemed to know where I was all the time was a little stalkerish to begin with,"

"Oi, kind of harsh don't you think?!" Kise scowled and tried to lift his hand and slap Aomine's head.

"I'm kidding, kidding" he smiled, moving his other hand to hold Kise's bandaged and beat up hand between both of his. He lifted it and pressed his lips to the side of Kise's fingers, gently. "Don't insult me and then kiss me, stupid." Kise muttered in a sad attempt to sound annoyed.

"But really," Aomine said, taking his lips from Kise's but keeping his hand sandwiched between his, "Do you _honestly_ think it would have made any difference whether you told me or not? I mean I knew you were an idiot but I didn't think you were that naive, Ryota."

"Aw come on, you know you love me." Kise grinned, not thinking about what he was saying. Aomine apparently wasn't thinking either before he mindlessly replied, "Yeah…I do."

Kise's smile dropped and was replaced by a look of complete surprise. At the same moment Aomine realized that he had just said that out loud for christ's sake.

_I am such an idiot oh my god what the hell is wrong with me?_

"I uh I just uh you see-" he stuttered, thinking of the fastest way to get out of the situation but his mind was coming up completely blank.

"Daiki." the word was so soft he felt like his heart was going to stop beating and melt right then and there. He closed his eyes, resting his head on Kise's hand which he still held aloft between his own.

"Daiki," he could hear Kise shifting even more forward but couldn't bring his eyes to open just yet. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest, and Kise's gentle pulse matched his almost exactly.

"I love you, Aomine Daiki."

Ever so slowly he peeked around their tangled hands and to see Kise's face. The look on his face was one Aomine had never seen before, not on Kise, not on anyone. Not when they were looking at him anyway. Maybe in the couple on the street as they strolled past or when he used to visit his grandparents in the nursing home when he was younger that look would appear, and he had always thought it was something meant for people other than him. People who could find someone else like that.

"You don't have to say it yet," Kise whispered, feebly moving his fingers to grasp around Aomine's hand so that they intertwined. "I know it can't be easy…"

Moving so that he lay down on his side again Kise fell silent, not bothering to finish the sentence. _Say something, say something, idiot! Say something!_

"I…" his throat had gone completely dry. _Why does it feel like the room's moving all of a sudden?_ "I…" he forced his blue eyes to look into Kise's amber ones, "I love…you, Kise Ryota."

When the words finally came it was like they could never stop,

"God I love you so fucking much." he smiled, loving the taste the words left in his mouth, "I love you, damn it. Ryota, did you know it was possible to love everything about someone? How did I survive for four years without you, holy shit," catching his breath the laughter started to come, a little hysterical with his heart racing in his chest. It took him a moment to realize that Kise had started to laugh with him.

"And you think I'm the idiot, really Dai-"

But Aomine couldn't take it anymore, and in one swift moment shut him up with his lips.

* * *

**mmmmmeeeeep so sorry this chapter was dumb and pointless but i needed to write some fluff and yeah this happened i regret nothing ヽ****(´ー****`)ﾉ **

**so i still haven't decided what kind of ending this is going to have but i think its going to go on longer than i first anticipated so expect more than just 3-5 chapter eheh**

**and i'm thinking that next I will do kagakuro or midotaka (((the midotaka would be slightly different though and be in a mental hospital ufufufu that idea is still in the works))) **

**SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOU ALL SO SWEET I WILL LITERALLY WRITE WHATEVER YOU GUYS WANT OKAY THATS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL (●´□`) **


	19. Breaking

Thursday. When he checked the clock, it was 5:34 AM. Thursday, or was it Friday now? The phone was ringing so loud and incessant it sounded like it was cutting through the darkness covering his room. _Who the hell?_

He groped across his bed, knowing his phone was somewhere in the jumbled mess. So loud, why is it so loud? He could already feel the headache coming on and the day hadn't even started yet. Finally his hand slid over the smooth surface of the screen and fumbling a little he brought the bright light to his face and slide his thumb across the screen.

"'Ello?" His voice was still raspy from lack of use so early in the morning. The person on the other end was someone he felt like I had heard speak before, a long time ago.

"Dai-chan is that you?"

Something twisted deep in his gut and the room did a tailspin in the blackened night. _No, the only reason she would call could be because…_

"Hello? Do you remember me? I know it's been a while but-"

_No. She can't because if she called then…_

"He told me you two had been in contact again so I found your number and-"

_There's just no way, it can't happen now not after everything they had been through._

"You need to come to the hospital, please. He's been asking for you. I think-"

_Don't please, don't say it. You're his mom, you can't say that…_

Everything hurt. Every bone and muscle and fiber of his being was aching, screaming with the urge to move, run, do something because if he didn't...

If he didnt...

A heavy sigh, a sob, the phone was silent for a moment. "I think it's time to…to say goodbye."

_Goodbye?_

* * *

_"__Dai-chan?" The room had gone absolutely silent, the only sound was the swing of the fan above their heads. Aomine's bed was hardly enough to accommodate both of them comfortably, and Kise ended up laying with half of his body on top of his, head resting against his collarbone and arm wrapped across Aomine's chest as he gently thread his fingers through his dark hair. Aomine's eyes were closed, letting his exhaustion get the best of him. He felt ravaged, sprawling and endless. The only thing that existed in that moment was their two bodies and that room, coexisting with one another in a brief time where the clock was stopped and the only thing keeping time was the thumping of their hearts side by side._

_"Mm.." he hummed shortly, absentmindedly moving his hand to feel the ridges of Kise's spine and trace the lines of his ribcage._

_"Do you believe in reincarnation?" Kise's voice was sleepy, like he was still trapped somewhere between euphoria and reality. Opening his eyes Aomine could see Kise staring slightly up at him through a half-lidded gaze. He had looked so calm, or maybe the word was happy; he wasn't sure thinking back on it anymore what Kise was ever really feeling._

_"Yeah, I guess so." he replied slowly, finding his own voice drowsy and sluggish, almost like he was drunk. But it was a good kind of drunk, or so he figured. Kise moaned and moved his leg up against his, shifting just enough to gently kiss the side of Aomine's ear. "Good," he breathed, pausing for a moment to open his eyes wider, like he was really trying to see Aomine with the words he was about to say,_

_"Because that means when I die and come back, you can find me again. Promise?"_

_"Don't talk like that, I don't like it."_

_"Just promise me, okay? Promise that you'll find me."_

* * *

The night air was cool against his skin but Aomine felt like his skin was on fire. The sun was just starting to peek up over the horizon, cutting through the tree branches and street lights as they switched off one by one in the approaching dawn. The world was coming up into a new day, a new start and beginning. But to to him; for Aomine the world was ending, corners folding in and threatening to swallow him whole.

_Please just...not yet. Not ever._

Aomine had long since lost track of the days since that fateful summer afternoon. A week, a month, 5 months, a year? Who cared? The one thing he could think about what the fact that of all the close calls, near misses, and false alarms it had to be that night. This night was the one where everything would change. He didn't even know the date or time anymore. But it didn't really matter.

It didn't matter because if Kise Ryota disappeared would it really be the world he knew? Could he survive without the one person he had never truly lived without? Even when he didn't have his memories, Kise had always been there in the back of his mind waiting for Aomine to find his way through, to find him again.

_I don't want to have to find him again, please._

His world was ending. Slowly crumbling and falling apart around him without Kise to hold it together. _No, that's wrong. He can still make it. He will make it._ The sky was tinged pink now. People were starting to wake up, get ready, go to work, live.

_He will make it. He has to._

* * *

_Kise was so engrossed in his book he had hardly spoken or moved for the past twenty minutes. Not that Aomine could really complain because the view was fantastic, but it didn't help because he had homework to do. It had become a habit, him bringing schoolwork to the hospital, Kise patiently waiting until he was finished._

_He bit his lip and looked back down at the math problem he had been attempting for the past ten minutes. It wasn't that he didn't understand it, it was just that Kise was so damn distracting with his exposed skin and low rise sweatpants that barely rose above his hips. They were sitting almost entirely across the room but Aomine could still smell his shampoo, a smell he had learned well because Kise always complained about the hair products he kept at his house, how they were never the right ones for his hair. For some reason whatever he used smelled faintly like apples, something Aomine had never quite gotten used to. It would always hit him at the worst of times just how much he loved that scent. Just like right now, in the middle of math homework._

_Pushing the glasses back up from slipping and twirling the pencil in his hand Aomine tried desperately not to let himself get swept away again. It had happened twice already and this time he would not let his nerves get the best of him. Fiddling with his glasses again, he wrote down the formula and stopped again. Stupid glasses, he just had to be blessed with near sightedness._

_"Do you need help?" Kise's said suddenly, making Aomine jump a little as he looked up and knocked his glasses down his nose. "I…" he turned his gaze back to the paper, still trying to make sense of all the numbers printed on the page. Then it occurred to him, "Wait, do you even go to school?"_

_Kise smirked, folding the book so that it lay face down across his propped up knee. "I already graduated, top of my class. Well, sort of." He grinned a little sheepishly, "My parent's had me homeschooled since I was little, so I could work as fast or slow as I wanted to. I finished school a few months ago; not like I had a whole lot else to do."_

_He unfolded his legs, setting the book on the table and padding over to where Aomine had permanently positioned his chair by the window. Kise leaned over, bracing his arms on the edge of the chair and peering down at his math book. "Oh I remember this. Calculus, right?"_

_"Yeah do you know it?"_

_"No, I sucked at math."_

_"Aren't you helpful to have around then." Aomine grumbled and narrowed his eyes, getting annoyed. Kise was already distracting enough when he wasn't so close to him._

_"Quit it, don't be so grumpy." Kise said, reaching his arms around Aomine's shoulders and nuzzling into his neck. Groaning to himself he shut the book, knowing nothing was getting done at this point. "Give up?"_

_"It's you're fault."_

_Kise giggled and leaned in closer, breathing softly against his chest. "I know,"_

* * *

**gasdkjflj so this is a piece of shit i am aware but i'm at a horse show and well nothing has gotten done at all and i still have like 30 notecards for one class （−＿−；）**  
**so yes everything in italics is basically past experiences because i feel like that is something really lacking in this like relationship development and all that crap**

**i have to be up at 6:30 tomorrow so goodnight I will see you all on the other side **

**THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL OF YOU ARE SO SWEET THANKS FOR STICKING WITH THIS THING I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING AT ALL ヾ****(。◕****ฺ∀◕ฺ****)ノ**

**p.s. FUCKING HANAMIYA MAKOTO FINALLY THANK GOD AND HEAVEN ABOVE HE IS HERE **

**k seriously have a goodnight i am done now**


	20. Found

The last leaves of autumn had just started to fall. The air was picking up, growing colder with each passing day. The setting sun was painting the windows of the buildings purple and orange, shifting through the branches of the now empty trees lining the street. As he walked, he stared down at his shoes, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.

_It's going to snow soon_, he thought.

Work had been especially difficult that day. No one wanted to do anything anymore, all were dependent on him to do everything in their place. It was annoying.

_Don't know why they rely on me either…stupid people._

Glancing up and exhaling he watched his breath pool in the air, twisting and swirling until it disappeared completely. The pavement clicked under his feet as he walked on autopilot, already knowing the way back to the apartment by heart. Even though he had only been living in Tokyo for a few years, it felt natural and easy to walk the streets here. The presence that had been following him around back home eventually became too much to handle. So right out of graduation he had packed up and left, applying to the first university he found leaving the world he knew behind. He couldn't have stayed there any longer if he wanted to. Too many….memories.

His hand twisted the doorknob to the apartment building, shutting it as quickly as possible behind him to keep the warmth in. His body moved on it's own volition. He had lost the will to make it move by itself a long time ago. He hadn't touched a basketball in five years.

_Five years…has it really been that long?_

Moving mechanically, he fished the mailbox key out of his jacket pocket and fumbled with it for a second before finally flipping it open. He usually didn't get much mail anymore. His dad had nothing to say, if Momoi wanted to talk she called, and he hadn't had many other friends in the first place. Most of the time it was just bills, bills, and more bills. Those damn things never stopped. As he reached inside, feeling for the thing envelopes that undoubtedly meant he was behind on some payment, instead he felt a small package.

_What is it?_, he extracted the box and held it between his hands. On the outside the wrapping was plan and brown. On the front it had his name and address, printed neatly in stick-straight letters. _No return address?_ he checked all edges of the box but to no avail. Whoever this was, they didn't want to hear back.

_But who would send me a package?_

He shook his head, feeling a headache pressuring at the back of his skull. His feet were moving again, this time up the two flights of stairs to his apartment on the third floor. The package only seemed to get heavier in his hands as he continued forward. _What a pain._

Grappling for his other key, he shoved it into the lock and twisted quickly, itching to just get inside. To get away, shut it all out. As the door finally closed he found nothing but silence. Which right now was the last thing he wanted.

_I really can't escape it, can I? This is getting so old…_

He didn't bother to turn the lights on, setting his keys on the table near the door and shedding his jacket, dumping it on the floor. The wooden boards creaked as he walked. This building was old, probably as old as he felt.

Moving to the kitchen he set the box on the counter. _Ah, pills, right._ Because he hadn't turned the lights on, it took him a few minutes to find the half empty bottle sitting a few feet away. Unscrewing the cap he poured out 3 and retrieved a bottle of almost-gone vodka from the fridge. The doctor, or whoever the hell he was, had told him not to mix alcohol and antidepressants. Then again, he couldn't care less what some old idiot like him had to say. Not like doctors were good for anything anyway. If their jobs weren't so save lives then what the hell were they doing?

_No no, not tonight._

He shook his head, trying to get his mind off the topic and flung the pills into his mouth, chasing it with a long drink from the vodka. It burned his throat and made his fingers go numb, but it was early, and he didn't care.

"What do I care about anymore?" he said aloud into the empty apartment. Recapping the pill bottle and vodka he set them both on the counter, turning his attention to the mysterious box sitting beside him. Rifling through the mostly empty drawers he finally found a pair of scissors, cutting the wrapping away and in just a few quick cuts. The box under the wrapping was just as plain on the inside as it was on the outside. He dragged the edge of the scissors along the packing tape holding the two flaps together, and prying the two parts open, peered inside.

In the package there were only two things: a single folded piece of paper, and something under it that looked like a small novel.

Some stupid relative send a late birthday present?

He picked up the piece of paper first. On the first folded flap it read his name, in the same strange handwriting as on the front of the box. A letter? From who?

Straightening the paper out, he began to read:

_Aomine,_

_Hello, it's been a long time. I do hope that this letter finds you well. I also hope that I have the right mailing address for you. I heard you had moved to Tokyo a few years ago, and had to rely on someone else for the information of your whereabouts._

_Anyway, I did not write to talk about such things. I am writing you because I feel that I need to. You see, I have not been totally honest about certain things. And now, I regret not telling you anything about this, and for that I apologize in advance. I hope one day you can forgive me from keeping this from you._

_When Kise passed away five years ago and his possessions were taken away by his parents, I took something before they could realize it was missing. Actually, I suppose they might not have known of it's existence. I guess that makes things better, in the end. In any event, I've mailed this thing to you, partially because I believe it to be the right thing to do and partially to end my own regret. I know it's been a long time, but I feel it's important that you have this. It rightfully belongs to you, and I was wrong to take it._

_But please understand. Kise was my friend, my best friend. At the time, I needed a part of him for myself. Again, I'm sorry. I didn't read any of it. It wasn't meant for me to see._

_It was meant for you, Aomine. Of that I am sure of. Kise was romantic that way._

_Please, take good care of it. I know you will._

_Kuroko Tetsuya_

In the time it took to read, he had found his hand had been curling harder around the letter, smashing up the corner and crumpling it in his fist.

_Why. Why now? Five years later?!_

He took a deep breath, trying to gain his composure again. _Things had been going so damn well too,_ he thought a little ruefully. His grip on the letter loosened until he was finally able to let it drop to the counter. Focusing on his breathing, he leaned against the counter and shut his eyes.

It had been five years. Five years since the world had come crashing down around him and for the first time the sun had refused to shine. The world he lived in had turned dark, plummeting itself into nights of bottle smashing and one night stands, little white pills and red-eyed mornings. Why now? Why now of _all_ times? Once he thought he had finally gotten it all together again…was he at risk of watching it fall apart for a second time?

Slowly, like if he moved quickly it might explode, he picked up the box, containing only the small book at the bottom. He walked the few feet to his room, handling the plain package like it was a hand grenade. Switching the light by his bedside on he set the box on the floor.

_It's fine, everything will be okay._

He carefully pulled the notebook from the brown box, hearing his bed creak as he sat at it's edge.

_It doesn't matter what's in here._

The notebook was small, leather bound and simple. But it looked well used. The spine had been bent many times, the pages stained and crinkling with ink and age. This had been Kise's. He had held this in his hands, touched it with his fingertips, studied it with his eyes.

_All that matters…_

He flipped it over a few times in his hands, loving the way it felt in his hands and he couldn't help but smile. It felt like him, it felt like Kise. This was the last one. The last thing he had. Before, he had never had the chance to get anything, not a single thing. Everything had happened so fast and before he knew it, it was over and Kise was gone, along with any trace that he had been there at all. But now…

_He's still here. I found him._

Feeling the excitement growing in his stomach, Aomine turned to small notebook to the front, cracked open the cover, and began to read.

**_end._**

* * *

**OR IS IT?! so i was thinking that if you guys WANTED I would add a few extras, i.e. kise's notebook entries, some of their past experiences, etc, whatever you guys want! because I am honestly not ready to be finished writing this its just too fun (⁎ ✪͡ ◡͐✪͡ ⁎)ﾉ"**

**so since this is technically, THE END: Thank you soooosososo much to the people who have stuck through this whole thing and dealed with my sucky writing and typos (seriously, I need a beta or something) and have left super sweet reviews and everything just uwu thank you so much! ꒰ ****ˊ͈ ु****ू****ˋ͈꒱****.⑅* **

**I AM VERY SORRY IF THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING AND THAT THIS IS REALLY LATE. I FOUND OUT I COULDN'T MAKE MYSELF WRITE KISE'S DEATH (I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BAWLED LIKE A BABY A FEW TIMES JUST THINKING ABOUT IT) AND SO YES, THIS HAPPENED. GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN. **


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